For Luigi

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Dec 9, 2008 at 18:37

First and foremost, I'm NOT defending Muslim men, I prefer to remain neutral on the matter. I have both Muslim friends & enemies. I'm sure you will find Muslim men defending their relationships, but they usually aren't so Internet-orientated. In other words, if you want to discuss such matters with men it's better to talk to them face to face. As an intelligent young woman, I do read insightful blogs such as this & am also known to do the odd spot of Internet shopping from time to time... lol!

Personal stake? Well, this "personal stake" has only just surfaced, & I was reading this blog way before I was in a relationship. And no, I wasn't deterred by posts here. I also read blogs (including by Daniel Pipes) about sex slaves & internet celebrities - doesn't mean I'm planning to become either one of them.

Yes, my man is rather handsome & he is from the Middle East, but this isn't why I fell for him. Although most people are of course visually stimulated (including myself), neither his looks nor his ethnicity were the features that initially attracted me to him, and I expect him to treat me with a universal respect (and vice versa), one that surpasses all races and religions. Cultural excuses don't fly with me. I don't glamorize Middle Eastern men, Muslims are not a rarity in my community & I am part North African myself so I definitely don't see the misty watercolor version that some women see.

Yes, I'll admit I was generalizing in that one statement about Muslim vs. Western men, but I was just pointing out some of the reasons why women might desire Middle Eastern men. It wasn't a personal opinion at all, I personally am not a fan of chauvinistic, overtly macho men... but I could see how some women, accustomed to increasingly metrosexual / stick-thin-worshipping male behavior in the West, would be refreshed by more "manly" middle eastern men. Of course middle eastern men can be as judgemental as Western men (I've experienced it first-hand) but a lot of women don't realize this at first. Again, with the security thing, not a personal opinion, but most women I've known that have dated Muslim men have had a penchant for secure, even paternal-type relationships. They've also been more introverted, therefore ideal in a sense for more controlling Muslim men.

I agree that those who seek third-party confirmation for relationships is not a good sign. But as the dominant theme in this blog is long-distance/interracial relationships, a lot of women have limited communication with their man, therefore it allows the mind to wander in ways that it wouldn't if their man lived next door to them. With long-distance relationships, you can't go running to your man whenever you feel like a kiss or a hug, it can be very lonely, & 24/7 IM/phone conversations aren't always possible or even enough. I myself wasn't looking for confirmation, I was merely telling Isis that I also happen to be dating an Egyptian man. I'm still young and our relationship is casual, & I'm not going to give up an hour or 2 surfing the net any time soon. And if he wants that he can whistle for it! I've never defended my relationship per se, and don't plan to (there's nothing to defend), but I suppose I just try to see things from both sides.

Also, I've never criticized or judged Western men - I merely try to bring forth (in quite a PC fashion) a general viewpoint of their characteristics, but I do that with everyone, I'm not biased. It isn't my own brand of Muslim vs. Western men (or should I put Western first to be Politically Correct), but this blog is about relationships with Muslim men, thus people will depict both their positive and negative attributes. What I said about Western men being perceived as metrosexual, unattentive etc. is simply an opinion that a lot of women seeking middle eastern men share. It's down to personal preference - some like blondes, some like brunettes.

No, there isn't a post on here that literally claims that Egyptian men are all insatiable casanovas (that was my overactive imagination playing with words) but posts often imply this, & there's plenty of evidence of suggestions that they & other middle eastern men simply aren't relationship material.

Finally, I am neither obsessed with my man's looks nor his culture, although both are rather lovely if I may say so lol. And I'm neither naive nor impressionable, I've seen both ends of scale in terms of interracial relationships. And I'm definitely not defending millions of men that I'm not even familiar with. What I am impressed by are fair, honest, unbiased and non-judgemental characteristics in men/women of ALL races. What is your solution, Luigi? That all nations become totally homogenous?

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