Your concern is well-founded

Submitted by Donna (United States), Dec 10, 2008 at 18:15

I've been reading all of the posts regarding Missy, her concerned Mother, her little-discussed daughter, and do wish I could say something to make a difference. In the end, Marie, I might agree with Hisham in that Missy and your daughter may just have to go through the experience and possibly suffer painful consequences. I was 46 when I met my husband.

At the time, I had not dated for many years; I only worked very hard and concentrated on raising my daughter. I was not looking for anyone. But when I thought of meeting someone, the one quality I would have asked for was kindness. My Moroccan husband-to-be not only overwhelmed me with kindness, but my entire family as well. I wish someone had warned me, I wish that I had been aware of sites such as this one. I don't know if I would have listened, but I would have had the information in any case. My story, in short, is that as soon as my husband gained permanent residency, he was no longer kind. He was never really a partner, and definitely not a father-figure for my daughter. His older brother did the exact same thing to another American woman with a child, divorcing her as soon as his papers were clear. They have no shame. I have been around the block in my life, so to speak, and don't think that many people would call me the innocent type. But this man hurt me more than anything I have ever experienced. I don't think I will ever be over it.

It has also been a very expensive experience. The only thing that I can do, and that you can do now, is to try and get the information out there to your daughter and to others. It may not be enough in your case, but if your daughter ultimately falls, she will surely need your support. My mother has passed, but I am blessed to have sisters and good friends who have supported me through the last few months and my divorce. i really don't know where or in what condition I would be in without them.

One other thing that Hunny and Yasemin have touched on the last few days is the issue of personal information. To this day, I remain concerned that my personal and business information may be used somehow in support of my soon-to-be-ex-husband's relatives gaining visas. I have written to the US Consulate in Morocco with no response to date.

In any case, I would recommend that those considering becoming involved with men from the countries discussed be very careful about allowing them access to your information, passwords, etc. They have a lot of time on their hands to figure how to use this information to their advantage.

Take care.

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