Hi Annie----

Submitted by BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, STILL DOING IT (United States), Dec 14, 2008 at 16:54

As a woman married to a "not strict" Muslim for the past year, you should be prepared for him to celebrate Ramadan. I know very few Muslims who do not observe it here in the US in some way. It sounds very doubtful that he suddenly started celebrating Ramadan out of the blue if he has been living in Morocco.

Ummmmmm, I am sort of curious as to why you would sleep with him, but now expect him to marry you???? By the way, can I ask how old you both are? I totally respect your wanting to wait for marriage, but it seems odd that your one experience was with a guy you met twice?

I certainly don't mean to be disrespectful, but these are indeed issues you should explore before you marry him. My husband has had much adjustment to make, as have I, including age, working environment, culture, and religion. From my observations, Moroccan men don't know much about real "romance" that American women expect, so you will have to teach him. And yes, they are indeed forceful, spoiled (by the women including moms, sisters, and former girlfriends, if any), hardheaded as a group, jealous, and concerned with money.

He will be thrown into a whole new world, no matter what he thinks he knows about America. Most feel that we are rich, but really don't understand that we pay taxes, etc, out of our incomes, so that will come as a shock. Most want to send money home, as that is expected of all Moroccan children that are working. It is considered payback for their parents taking care of them as they grow up. They could teach us something about family committment, as we Americans have lost that closeness over the years.

I know that I am not an expert on Moroccan culture, but I have been 4 times there, observed, and also know his friends and how they act. I also know that the men there expect to go out at night, drinik coffee with their buddies, and the woman stays at home. So it has been quite an adjustment to "strong" American women. The are used to being the boss. HELLO, reality...lol

Anyway, these relationships are not impossible, but it is true that there are many obstacles, etc. to be faced. I know 4-5 couples with age differences, etc, and so far they are doing fine. BUT I am not stupid and just try to live in each day and not stress about the future. By the way, my hubby signed a prenup due to losing my a** on my ex, who decided he wasn't happy after 22 years together. (And my husband does resent having to do that, but tough luck for him.)

Neither myself nor my husband has nor wants any kids, which is a blessing. Anyway, I made sure to meet all of his relatives, his friends, investigated his work history, talked to his sisters, etc. His story completely added up to what he had told me.

He does have anger magagement issues, but his family is very aware of that and does not blame me. He knows what I won't and will tolerate from him and has made much growth during this year. I have read that ALL people, no matter from what country, experience culture shock/depression. I firmly believe he suffered from that, and so have his friends who have come over after him. It is good for them to have someone to talk to here in the US to tell them they are not alone.

Anyway, this is my story so far. And yes, Luigi, I have been reading this for several years now and have had my doubts about our marriage when we fight. But I also have had doubts in other relationships, especially since I am an overly sensitive person. However, we are hanging in there, love each other, and want to stay together. In fact, he would just as soon move back to Morocco when I retire. So we will see where this leads. I don't know, only God does. Peace to all.....love ya!!!

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