another concerned mother

Submitted by Nora Wimberley (United States), Dec 16, 2008 at 08:23

From what you said in your post i am sure i do not have all the facts. Has your daughter been to Turkey before??? You said they will meet again. Has he been to the states???

Now here is a few things that i can tell you. I am a little concerned about her paying out rent on a apartment for while she is there. It is clear he does not have much money. Also the apartment is probley needed so they do not have to stay with his family. Becasue staying with family means no grown up activities. It is common to have a engagment party. But is this engagment going to be in Turkey or the States. And if it is going to be in Turkey as i assume it is going to be. Do you want to fly over there and be involved in a engagment party, with a man you do not approve of??

Next making hurtful comments to your daughter like "boy toy" and 'sugar mama" is not going to detour her from marriage, but do the oppisite and push her harder to marry him. Maybe he does want to marry her to advoid the army, but either way to get him her to the states will take a visa. And that takes time, and i am sure the army there does not care if he is married to a american woman or not. I could be wrong. But it takes anywhere to 6 months to over a year to get a visa for him to come here. I am assuming he has not been here, if he has then they would be married already and him living here.

Even though your grown daughter, is to you , jumping into a relationship that seems bad. There is nothing you can do. She is a grown woman, does not mean you do not worry any less for her. But if it is a mistake she has to learn it on her own. Next question, are you willing to chat with him on the internet to get to know him. He can answer your questions you have. My mother talks to my fiance on the yahoo, often. That is how many of her fears was clamed. Now she is patiently waiting him to come here.

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