Give it time Lisa

Submitted by Keri (Canada), Dec 17, 2008 at 01:40

Hi Lisa, I just want to tell you to SLOW DOWN. It took three separate meetings with me and my Moroccan for me to catch him in his lies. We talked for over a year and then He won the Green Card Lottery and I went to meet him twice, and then he came to Canada to stay with me for a month. The first time I met him his friends were so nice and hospitable and kind. The second time I met him they were also kind and hospitable. In between they made a nasty video and posted it on Youtube about what a whore I was.

When he came to see me for the month I saw him for the man he was. Addicted to MSN, women on the side, lies, money hungry yet lazy.... And this was after he told his mother that he was going to marry me.

To this day I know he loves me in his own way. He continues to contact me. The fact however is that once trust is broken, it can never be mended. It started as a game for him and I was his prey.... and despite this he did fall in love with me. But for me it was too late. Burn me twice, shame on me.

Because he loves me he has been honest with me. It is a man's destiny to have children and raise them in Islam. Your man is only 32. Even if he spends 15 years with you he will still want to have kids. And when he returns to Maroc, he will be treated as a King and will have his choice of women. Then the tables will be turned... He'll be wondering if the women love him for him or if they just want a visa.

Believe me Lisa, he may love you... but he won't stay with you. He will want kids,. He is the oldest male and it is his obligation to have kids. He might even stay married to you and take a 2nd wife on the side without you even knowing. Having kids and raising kids are two different things, and he may not have a pblm with leaving his 2nd wife in Maroc with the kids. The $400 leaving your budget every month will be going to her.

The family will of course be decent to you. As the oldest son he is the prince of the family. I am wondering why if his family is so well off did you have to spend even one dirham on the trip? Why did you have to pay for any of the paperwork? A Moroccan man would NEVER let his Moroccan wife to be pay for anything whatsoever when it came to the marriage. For example, my ex's friend just went back to Maroc and married a woman his mother recommended. He only talked to her twice, yet spent $12 000 on the wedding and the gifts. It was a three day affair. There was a parade in the streets. Literally.

And why did the sister charge you to stay in her place? If she was married to a doctor, she would not need the money, PLUS as the future SIL, she would never charge the bride to be for staying there. The brother (your fiance) would never allow it.

Anyhow Lisa, Its beyond me how you could marry a man who has never interacted with your children. Talking to them on the net does not count. How can you just bring a total stranger into their living space? Doesn't that concern you? What if your kids don't like him? My ex also talked to my "sweet angels" on the net. When he was here with us in person he wouldn't come to my 7 yo's b-day party and it broke her heart. She was the first one to tell me that she did not like him. I should have listened to her as her instincts were better than her mother's.

I'm just saying to be careful. Bring him here on a Fiance Visa rather than marrying him. Why the rush? Its not like your biological clock is ticking. You have the luxery of time.

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