Relationship Defense and Direct Responses

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Dec 19, 2008 at 20:21

I do not appreciate my posts being dissected and others have also expressed concerns about your style of reply on this site.

Really? show me some evidence.

Sorry if you don't like having your posts dissected, but when you get into discussions/debates on-line, that is what will happen regardless of your objections.

Ordinarily, I would just ignore posts like relationship defense (it demonstrates sheer insecurity) and respect those wishes, but the reason I respond to relationship defense posts are because other readers come across them and may use them to validate their own situation. I just want to make sure that they at least pause and don't dive in head first.

I'm not bitter nor am I trying out a personal vendetta on you, I'm just trying to help others and being selfish and thinking about your relationship first does not help. And its not just you, Isis, it's everyone who for whatever reason wants us to think they are in these paradise-type relationships, but for some reason have to convince everyone on here that is the case. People who do this clearly are having issues, I think. I've seen this SO many times and it's all the same and ends the same.

Once again - you have not been to the middle east and you have no first hand experience of middle eastern culture.

I told you I am well-traveled for that is worth, and it does not mean that much Isis for anyone, especially if you stay in a hotel or resort the whole time and stay within a 5 sq. km radius except for the ride to the airport and back. That's hardly getting the complete cultural experience.

Knowledge, on the other hand, is widely available even to those who have not traveled there. If you want that, my recommendation would be join an aid group or a foreign mission.

You have not been in a relationnship with a Muslim man and now you are starting to invent friends, vocations and scenarios to suit your stories. You imagination works overtime with comments written by others. I recall one post titled "Facts are facts" written by you.

Well, I'm not gay so I won't be in relationship with any man, but being a man myself gives this forum a unique perspective. I don't suppose you've lived with an Egyptian or Middle Eastern man before?

Sorry, I'm not inventing friends. I have met friends from all over the world including the Middle East.

(laughter) Sorry, Isis, but my posts have external references and are grounded in reality. I just do not tell people always what they want to hear. Such is the nature of the truth. Those who argue on emotion and think they are going to succeed in a relationship based on text messages and on-line chatting and seeing their sig. other once or twice are the ones with the imagination, not me.

Generalising and imagining things are not facts Luigi.What you are doing to Lisa is not helpful at all - you criticise the length of her posts but now yours are getting into 2000 words.

Bear in mind, Isis, I include all of what she writes in my responses so its easier for the other readers to see where I am coming from.

As far as generalizing goes, I have written on here before that I do not think all Muslim men or all Western men are bad.

If you and other relationship defenders on here have issue with that, take it up with those posters directly, but be fore warned, you are probably not going to get a rosy or a submissive response, if any at all. Many of the women and men on here have been scarred pretty deeply and many of those comments come out of emotion.

Please also remember this is the internet and even on here those comments will show up. I have no control over that.

Remember that you have not been to Morocco and she has.

Taking out how many times I have been to Morocco, she has been there once. More evidence that you are talking her up because

1) She has been coming after me on and off since September

2) That in turn, Julie, helps you to feel better about your situation on top of this new found confidence you got from your month-long trip.

There are also areas of her story that can cause concern but it is up to her to take note of this and up to her to decide what to do with the information. She doesn't need to read your baseless tirades at all.

Trouble is, my posts are neither tirades nor baseless. If they were that bad, I doubt I would get so many responses, requests for advice and responses (on-line, no less) from women and men who have supposedly met such wonderful sig. others on-line and/or have relatives who have.

I guess I should be honored that I am able to take up so much of your time and energy away from them plus whatever free time you have? I mean, are they really that wonderful if just my posts alone have this much effect on you? Why is it SO important for you to prove me wrong if you guys and gals are so sure? Honestly, Isis, you're basically coming after every post now and even googling info about me.

What I wrote about the middle east not liking Americans is accurate.

Well, then I guess that would support my stance more than hurt it, because if they hate Americans, why are the men on this board trying to breed with American women and men?

And actually, Isis, since you have been to the Middle East so much, I recommend going to Tehran. You'll find that many Tehranis like Americans, but hate the American government. Many Americans are not too crazy about Washington these days either. See for yourself if you do not believe me. Iranians themselves are really that bad. Not all of them anyway.

The Egyptians are having a wow of time re the recent shoe throwing incident in Iraq.

Well, I guess it's better than what the Australians and Palestinians did on 9-11 and cheer when over 3000 people from several dozen countries (including Australia) died.

Truth be told, Isis, it was unique, and even the President downplayed it as free speech. I hardly think that qualifies as hatred for Americans.

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