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Response to Shadae, marriage, my age, Shadae being rightReader comment on item: Advice to Non-Muslim Women against Marrying Muslim Men Submitted by Lisa USA (United States), Dec 23, 2008 at 22:34 AND I HAD AN OLD, UGLY MAN WANTING TO MARRY ME I WOULD PRETEND TO LOVE HIM FOR TWO YEARS TOO. THEN I WOULD LEAVE HIM AND MARRY SOMEONE I LOVED. ITS CALLED A MARRIAGE OF INTEREST.......... Careful Shadae sounds like you are referring to me as being old and ugly and our marriage will be a marriage of interest only...I may be 9 years older than him but his last girlfriend who was a Moroccan lady was 6 years older (39) and i do not look 42....He admits he has more wrinkles in the face than I do ...People here in Alabama tell me I look young and so does he. My only issue is I need to lose about 30 lbs and I am in the gym working toward that and have been over a year and have lost about 55 so far to date.....He admits I will be perfect if I can lose small amount of stomach. He knows that is my only insecurity in way I feel about myself.. He has been attracted to older women but also admits he would probably never date anyone much older than my age difference.... He is honest. Do you KNOW FOR A FACT he does not think I am Beautiful? Do you know for fact his family does not? Do you know for fact he or family is wanting a Visa? For you to come here and make assumptions you know nothing about does not make you a better person does it? I suppose you are helping me by insulting me and him and his family and calling them liars/scammers because you know this family? You can speak for them? Reality check for Shadae; You do not know our conversations, you do not know me or him or his nice family's intensions. You do not know our private moments there in Morocco or on-line in the bedroom..fact he has no job and will take no money from me....but hey he just wants visa...why not visa and money since I offer to help?....I said I would not post here but people like you make it hard not too. Your ignorance shows....Just today he turned down my offer to send him at least $50....He did not hint or ask but let me know he didn't need anything. He just doesn't like to take my money.....Its his character. ...but others are constantly on here sending theirs money for whatever reasons and they are accepting and then come here bikering about it...I even told him I am now considered his wife and he should let me help him and he still turned my offer down as he has in the past. This is the reality LISA. I know your fiance will leave you. I think he is already married. Probably, by religious marriage. This is the only marriage most muslims do. It is not recognised by the law, so you can not know if he is married. A religious marriage allows muslim men to have more than one wife, He can marry you legally in Morocco and still marry another 3 wives in MOrocco. You will never know. The religious marriage is under the eyes of GOD. It is the only marriage important to muslims. I f he doesn't have a religious marriage with you, it is a sign that he plans to leave you as he would not lie to ALLAH. But, it also allows a man to dump his wife without the hassle of a divorce Again Shadae....You DO NOT know he will leave me. Furthermore, My American man left too after 20 years for a woman he had a secret year along affair with and now tells my family that one day we will be back together!! Its too late I have moved on after 4 years...Im his lost..... but do you think I will pass on love because this man or any future man "MAY LEAVE ME CAUSE SHADAE SAYS SO?" Im a big girl Shadae I hardly need you telling me what to do and you acting like you have all the right answers..... The marriage thing....so religious marriage is good one cause they will not lie to Allahe and they will be sincere but then you say in religious one they will secretly have 4 wifes and you say it is not recognized by law,lol..I know for a fact this is not legal that the first wife has to give permission for second and they have to also be able to show proof of home/car/money to have more than one wife....We are marrying in court and having a religious ceremony in his familys home....Have you been to the court of law with us? Did you go to Police headquarters with us and see how hard it was and how thorough they were with both of us? You think he is married; and reason being is because he is 32 and of course 100% of all men are married before that age in Morocco? Not a single one is single without prior marriage if he happens to be 32 Shadae? Newsflash Shadae...wrong again even his lawyer frnd is single never married and doesn't even have any prospects at moment....his half brother just now at 33 married a french woman 6 years older never married before.... Do you know his life history of why he is single besides being poor? He spent 4 years at college earned a degree...had girlfriend of 4 years who broke it off to marry a rich man at request of her family...Took him 6 years to get over her...its taken me 4 to get over my ex just to feel like dating or going out (not neccessarily to get over him just didn't care to get back in a relationship) so I can see where he is coming from being hurt and he truly loved her......afterwards he has had one relationship to last 8 months with the 39 year old Moroccan lady. He realized he didn't love her and they agreed best to end relationship so they both walked away and he moved on and she is now engaged to be married to a Taxi driver there.... so leading up to now...He talked to a woman from Miami who offered to marry him but she liked clubbing/partying too much and he didn't love her and she had issues...he wasted about 4 months writing her back and forth and realized her ways with partying and he doesn't drink and is against it but he learned her....she still tries to write him. He ignores her but finally answered to tell her he was engaged...she has quit bugging him for the moment....I told him it was best to be honest and tell her instead of avoiding her cause she will not give up. He thought it best to ignore to not hurt her feelings. He doesn't like hurting anyone...She was married when she started talking to him and he listened to her problems....he could have already had his visa. He talked to others from all over the countries and could have had visa...could have married the cousin who has money home car but he didn't like her flaunting her money and what she could do for him and he felt her intensions was not to Love him for him which he knows is the reason I do love him....I could care less he is poor or where he is from...and to recent: he has been involved with me for 10 months....He came into my life and therefore we both believe it is Allahe's/God's will and we are both following our hearts....I know Moroccan men here who remain with their wifes & have been married for many years and they are not pretty to me but you know Shadae...the old sayting goes"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" You do not have to think I am Beautiful but others will. Shadae You want to call me Naive cause I see the good in my relationship and him and so far have not seen any bad in his character or his actions or words or how he treats others... to you and others that have had failed relationships it seems too good to be true and you have to post on this blog trying to find things wrong with my relationship and all you can find is my age difference and fact he remains single so he must have already been married before....Did you go look at our pictures on Myspace? www.myspace.com/mirrorimagephotosbylisa We actually make a cute couple and we are happy....and furthermore if he or any man leaves me Shadae, I can promise you and others I will pick up the pieces and move on and not regret knowing this man as I do not regret knowing my kids father even with all the hurt.....So Shadae I am not naive...I have been through a lot in my life as a child and also a previously married woman and I know how to read people. I would thank you but with the manner you wrote your sentences I know your post was not to help but to hurt me and to throw some doubt my way and its simply not going to work. I do wish you the best regardless in your own life cause it seems you are such an expert on love and I am sure you will be the only one who will have a successful marriage and life....Lisa Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments". << Previous Comment Next Comment >> Reader comments (21922) on this item
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