Heartfelt response to Kate K.

Submitted by Straight-Talk-Luigi (United States), Dec 27, 2008 at 23:28

Dear Kate K.

Thank you so much for sharing your story!

In your post, you mention you have not seen anything about moving to Tunisia as opposed to your country.

Well, you may have missed what Dr. Pipes wrote about initially in 2004 above the comments section. I highly recommend reading what he has to say. It's the most extreme cases and usually is not that bad, but it still is a major headache.

The thing is that while visa scams may get the most popularity on here, they are not the only thing that can go wrong. There are other motives like marrying a woman just to brag about having something different, using your womb in the cause of jihad, money and the usual male nonsense you can pretty much find anywhere.

In your case, Kate, what sticks out to me as a guy is his persistence and lack of knowledge. Do you for certain this man is a professor? Because he sure does not behave like any professor I know if the values of the West are not known to him. For pete's sake thats the calling card for terrorists and that is what gets the most attention in the media regarding Islam.

Also, he wants to live there NOW. Who's to say he won't change his mind in the future?

Regardless, though, I do not like this at all. It could very well be a way to win you over to his side. What men will sometimes do is keep on being persistent, knowing that eventually the woman will give, and believe me, Kate, I hear frequently on here how women are independent and adults and all that but even if you are the most hardcore feminist, the conservative Muslim man wins 99 out of 100 of those battles.

They simply will not quit. I had the exact same experience with Nigerian scammers. Once they get a hold of you, they simply will not stop until you give in. This is marketing strategy based on numbers and probability. The idea is if you do this enough times or in some cases to many individuals at once, they will get someone.

I can certainly understand your confusion, Kate! I sure would not want to live in Tunisia either! But I really do not like this or how he is going about this. He essentially wants you to cave in, not compromise on this. Can you really put up with this whole life? Because once you start caving in to your partner Kate, no matter where he or she comes from, they automatically will lose respect for you.

Please, please give this some real thought, Kate. If this man drives you batty enough to the point where you have to ask us for advice on an anonymous blog, well, just imagine the life once you are together. It does not magically get better after marriage or when you move in, it gets worse. Always. I hear about this so many times on here and in real life. People just do not like change, Kate.

I know you like this man and I'm sure he seems like a good, educated, attractive prospect, but ulimately its reality that determines the success and failure of a relationship.

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