Little ss for Farrah

Submitted by Lee (United States), Dec 30, 2008 at 13:51

Hi Farrah,

Don't know if you remember me, but you replied to one of my comments months ago. We related to each other because I think you told me you are a woman of color like myself. I am married to a Jordanian man.

We married in his country 7 months ago and I just returned from visiting him for the holiday, at my own expense. I just couldn't wait until the visa process is finished. I enjoyed being with him, and I do love him, but still only his younger brother and a cousin knows about me. He still insist that his sister and older brothers will not approve of him marrying an American and someone not from their family. He always say they will make it hard for him to come here if they knew he married someone from the U.S.

Now this is a 40 year old man who claims to want to break from his family. I can sense that they are a family that sticks together, especially financially. When one fall short, the others step in to pickup the slack, in which my family is the same way. People from my church are willing to help him with jobs when he gets here. I tell him not to be picky, the economy is not so good right now and he has to crawl before he walks and I will not have a husband still sleeping in my house when I have to out to work. He wants a business to buy, but will work a job until he finds one. He knows very well that he has to pull his load in my house.

I keep up with these blogs, because I feel the family not knowing me is a big red flag mentioned here on this site. I am 6 years older than he, but we look the same age. I don't give him money, but I have took and sent toys to his two kids and paid the $70 for the (AOS) fee to the Visa Center here in the U.S. He knows that any other fees he will have to pay, if he comes here no matter how long it takes him. Which iincludes the Visa fee, the physical fee and his ticket. After reading this blog, if he can't afford to come here, he will not come, and I promise that. I believe his family know he is coming here, but don't know about me; so I really don't think he is coming here empty handed. I feel also that there are others here he knows and he jokes with me sometimes that he promise me 5 years of his life. I am taking everything he says into consideration, joke or no joke and keeping my bank account closed to him.

I don't know how long the process will take now, I am waiting for the I-864 form. I chose to be his agent for the paper work to come to me first instead of him because I am not comfortable sending my personal information to an attorney he hired there in his country and to speed things up, it is best that I receive the paperwork, so I was told.

I am praying so hard that my marriage will not end the way some of these here on the blog. I am thankful for you and others who has shared your life stories to save us. My mind is not blind to the facts now because of this site. If you or anyone (Yasmine), has anything else to share so I can protect myself, please feel free to do so.

Thanks

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