So give me your opinions....I'm know there are plenty here

Submitted by anonymousamerican (United States), Dec 30, 2008 at 21:05

I have known a Pakistani man for about six months now. He has lived in an Asian country for six years and has a business there. His family is still in Pakistan. He goes there every once in a great while to visit but is unhappy while he's there, he only does it for his family's sake. He is 20 years younger than me......................(#1 red flag right?) we clicked right off the bat and he asked me to marry him, not long after we met. I know the response to that one also....red flag right?!!!...........He wants me to move to his country and he has no desire to live in the USA

. He loves where he lives and has no desire to leave there. I have gone back and forth with him for six months discussing this and he has never given up. He doesn't understand why age is a problem for me. When he first asked me I asked him why in the world would he want to marry someone 20 years older than him...he said he wants to marry "by heart" and many people with age differences have good marriages and lives. On one of our "off times" (because like I said I have gone back and forth, been wishy-washy about the whole thing only because of the age and relocating) I asked him if he had met anyone and he said he hadnt. I asked him why, he's a good looking guy, stable, he has so much to offer, and he said there are many women out there but he has already given his heart to me.

There are men to date here in the states, there is no shortage of them. I could easily be with someone here. I have had several men want to date me since my divorce (which by the way was my idea). I have dated some of them. They were ok, nice men but I didn't really feel anything for them.......

I have to say I was married to an American man for a long time, I have kids that are adults and on their own, so I don't have to consider relocating anyone other than myself. He said there is no need for me to work unless I want to, he can provide, and he understands that I would want to come see my kids once a year and said that would not be a problem.

I don't look my age, although I don't look his either....obviously....

For some reason despite the age difference I have felt this tremendous bond and love for him. I never thought I would ever think about dating someone of that culture, but like I said he is not religious, and seems very liberal.

The bottom line is, he has been waiting patiently for me to come there and live with him all this time. The problem is, moving to another country. I'm sure it would be adventurous for a little while, but what about after that? Maybe I would hate it, but maybe I would love it.... But then again if he was wanting to come here, I would see that as a huge red flag and wouldn't even consider it. But he doesn't..............so if I want to be with him I need to move there.

He tells me he loves me on a regular basis but he doesn't do all the sweet talking, charming me, anything like that. He just seems like a very basic guy....he has never asked me for anything, other than to go be with him.

So I guess what I'm wondering is.....................the 20 yr age difference, he wanting me to move there to be with him, he being liberal, not religious, not wanting to live here or in his native country, etc........put all that together and I can't find a motive other than him just wanting to be with me. What could a possible motive be? I read this forum all the time and I thought if there is something I'm missing, you all will find it......

I really do feel that he is sincere...............but he is really wanting me there and hoping I will make it there in the first half of 2009 so I thought I would put this out there and see what I get back....I might regret it but I'm not a stupid woman and I will do all the research before I make such an important life decision.

Thanks.......

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