Dear Isis

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Dec 31, 2008 at 04:10

Sorry, Isis, but those links quote percentages of the ethnic groups based on census data and estimates. There is certainly error in most calculations like that, but the use actual mathematical figures is hardly generalizing.

There has been much disagreement on here lately, but I really would not say anyone is attacking anyone else. There's just been too much emotion on here, even from me on occasion, and that needs to stop if we are going to be logical and figure out what is really going on.

Isis, I sympathize with the situation you had with your ex-husband very much so and I understand why you have "had your fill" of Western men. But I do not think they are all alike in the way you describe either---nor are all Middle Eastern men the same. Please do not let your frustration get the better of you. You are clearly above that, Isis. I've had a hunch now for some time that a Western man or two had hurt you in the past, but I honestly did not know it was that bad.

In fact, the reason I turned to international on-line dating when I was 18 was because I was sick and tired of what happened in high school. I blamed my romance problems on pretty much all American women. I'll admit, when I had exotic Nigerian and Russian women pawing over me, I could not seriously believe it. Fortunately, I did not have the resources to even consider such a relationship, or I might have made the same mistake as many other men have.

The sour attitude I had towards American women was unfair and ridiculous to say the least. I came to realize, years later, that if I wanted to "get the girl" as they say, I could not be mopey dopey. I had to dust myself off and demand respect from others---both men and women. Let's face it, no normal person is going to take a self-loather seriously. That is the mistake a lot of nice guys in the West make. They think that if they become dating martyrs, they'll get the girl. What they'll get is pity, compassion and attention, but NOT respect. Correct me if I am wrong, but a woman wants a man who will be strong and protect her and be a leader, not a sappy man drenched in woe.

Despite my relationship difficulties, I do not think anything I have gone through can compare to what happened with you. I actually thought I had it bad being out 10 grand or so and having a woman cheat on me for over months on end, but I've come to realize I have not suffered as badly as some of my friends or other women on this blog. I really cannot imagine how hard it must to invest years, heck decades into something and not have it pan out in the end.

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