Reply to Carmel about Moroccan man situation from another Catholic

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 4, 2009 at 21:53

Hi there Carmel, thanks for sharing!

I want you to know that I understand how you feel, and that you're not the only who has come on here and gotten scared and sad. It can be quite revealing, because I do not think that people in general expect others to be so selfish and deceitful.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel this way and this has your head spinning, but on-line relationships with pretty much anyone can and will do that. There's just too much assuming and guessing (and worshipping in some cases) that follows along with on-line dating.

What I do not like your relationship, for a guy's perspective, is that you love him and he says he loves you. Have you even met this man? It's really a lot easier for a guy, even Abdel, to talk to women with confidence over the internet than if it were in person. And three months is a pretty short time to be in love from where I stand.

The big problem here though is money. I noticed you said you do not send him anything anymore. I don't care who you are dating, if you send your partner lavish gifts and money, you will not be respected. You said you stopped, and he is still around. I would like to know how often you send him money, because you've only been in contact with him for three months. Since you were sending money, he's not going to leave you that easily, because you have already proven he can get what he wants out of you, and it sure is not love.

It's interesting how you tell other women not to give up. The reality is that most people who try on-line dating get fed-up with the deceit and the communication barrier and find that it actually takes MORE work than dating someone in person. I think it also comes down to just getting tired of sifting through the other person's garbage and lies, which comes in no small measure over the internet.

"Love has no religious barrier" Well, actually it does. Attraction has no religious/age/culture barrier, but love and attraction are not equal. Most people will date/marry someone from their own religion. As for conversions talked about on here, well, the reason people convert in a relationship almost always is for their partner, it's easier, and their religion is just not that important, NOT because they've realized their man's religion is the one, true path to God.

People have worked through this mess before, so it's not that it cannot be done, but then again, most people who try on-line dating do not understand the dynamics of it. I did not at first either and I paid some heavy prices for it.

The hard truth about love and successful relationships is that most people will date in their own race, religion and culture. Study after study after study shows that the most fulfilling and successful relationships involve people with similarities, not differences. If you look at the census of any country, you'll find that to be the case. All this politically correct nonsense about interracial dating is sensationalized by the media exponentially out of sheer appeasement.

I guess I have not seen any very recent posts saying how Moroccan men do not have a heart, but understand that if you read that on here it is because the women were hurt very much so by them. Morocco would not have positive population growth if their men were heartless, so we know such a statement is silly, Carmel, but you just are not likely to find the good ones roaming around the internet in the wee hours of the morning. I mean, would you look for a prospective husband in the back alley of your house at 3 am? Probably not.

I hope that you will consider what I have said, Carmel. Honestly, you deserve more respect that what this man is giving you.

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