Response to Karen

Submitted by a muslim woman (United States), Jan 5, 2009 at 17:38

Where to start Karen, first let me tell you I am sorry for your loss. I tried to read some of your past posts here to get a better idea of the issue you had with your former husband or boyfriend? This for me was not quite clear from previous posts. It does seem however you have some unique insight of the culture and beliefs and that I would like to expand on.

When you say jealousy is different you are absolutely right and your reasoning is correct too. When you say you believe he is testing you this is also true. Even if he has a wife already. The only way to find out if he has a wife is by talking with his family. Even if you don't speak the same language, he would have to explain to his family a woman in his life other than a relative or wife. But it is an insult to ask you to live with him, because to touch one another without the marriage contract is forbidden. It could be a test but it is not exceptable.

Once a proposal is made an announcement an engagement party to announce the two as a couple in couple in public is arranged. Then a supervised courtship takes place in which the two find out if they are compatible. e does not have the right to touch her at this stage, although it does happen it is forbidden until the wedding night. It is considered her honor and her families honor. There are severe consequences for this, both with the families and in the eyes of God.

I know how it must hurt to make such a painful decision when you have feeling for someone. You seem to be a very strong woman and may you and your heart always be protected from anything that comes from the wrong intentions. If you know the religion then you will also know your rights even if you are not a muslim. It is important to know your rights in every aspect of life, inside and outside of relationships. If we do not know our rights how do we know when they are violated or what we are fighting for.

To love again is a risk we must take in order to truly live. When you give your heart to someone make sure they have earned it.

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