Early but Positive Experience with Tunisian

Submitted by Makelifefun100 (Qatar), Jan 9, 2009 at 02:47

I am an American woman who has been in Qatar for 2 1/2 years now. I have had a neutral experience with a local, a bad experience with a Jordanian (habitual liar), and now thus far a positive (although still very new) experience with a Tunisian. Because I have been here and around the culture for a while, I know to be cautious.

So far my Tunisian man has not once mentioned anything about wanting or needing money, or going to the US (says he doesn't want to go there). He has only mentioned wanting to take me to Tunisia to meet his friends and family one day. He has a very good job here. (I have been to his office and met colleagues). I have met his father on several occasions, who is visiting from Tunisia right now. This has always been pleasant. My man treats me very kind, and recently took good care of me when I was sick. He supports me when I vent about my work, but doesn't like the stress it causes me.

For me, there are only a few "problems" at this point. The language barrier is the biggest. He only speaks Arabic & French (very little English, although he's learning more each day). I speak English, but I'm having to dig deep into my brain to recall 3 years of high school French so that we have a common language. It gradually gets better over time, but makes it hard to have long, deep-subject conversations for now.

There is also a big age difference, with me being older. BUT, I appear much younger to most people and therefore have dated American men his same age, so I don't feel targeted in that respect. He looks older than the age he is, but I have seen his ID card that confirms. So we don't look obviously out of sync as a couple in that respect. It's just my own insecurities that come in to play, as they would even if he were American.

The ease in which he uses words of love so quickly bothered me a bit, but was well aware of this phenomenom with Arabic men and that it is a cultural thing. I've just tried not allowed myself to swoon too much over his words just yet.

The one big concern is why he is 28 and not married...or is he, and I'm somehow blind to the signs?. So far he takes all calls around me (they're all from men). His father knows we're dating and is supportive, but of course could be covering for him. He spends almost all free time with me, so if he is communicating with a wife elsewhere (I have been to where he lives here on several occasions and it is clearly a bachelor pad) it is during the time he should be sleeping, or during working hours.

So for me, I can see where there can be the potential for positive, loving long-term relationships between the two cultures. But I also see, and feel, the need for extreme caution and going very slowly with this type of relationship.

Are there any red flags in what I've shared thus far, or are there other things I should be mindful of as things progress?

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