Response to Jennifer

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 9, 2009 at 15:23

Hi there Jennifer, Thanks for sharing! It sounds like you've done quite a bit of analyzing and research into this !

Understand this above all else: It is NOT possible to know or trust someone from mere internet communication. That is nothing to be ashamed of, and its just your feminine instincts telling you that you do not know this man or trust him.

First of all, please know that I am 27 and a practicing Catholic. I've been through all kinds of on-line nonsense myself, and really no matter what the culture or religion, the chances of finding your life partner on-line across international borders is slim.

Most people who navigate the internet in search for attention often have some sort of issue. They are desperate, they are divorced and feel the need to with someone (if only for their kids). Some of the younger folks like you and I do it because they feel isolated socially or from their family. Others just are scammers and have nothing better to do than play games. You'd probably be amazed at how much time people are willing to waste to do that.

As for me, I started the on-line stuff right out of high school. I was one of those guys who never got the girl ,and I was amazed at all of the attention I would get from women all over the old. It was like the attention I got from girls turned 180 degrees.

Permanent residency? Oh, certainly they will wait. Make no mistake, Jennifer, ALL these "relationships" or flings start off nicely. I assume you've been reading on here, and for the women who do not leave their man before marriage, the problems start after marriage, usually. Why is that? Because now its okay for them to reveal who they are because the two of you are bound in contract with the state, like it or not. Dr. Pipes wrote on here that in some Saudi marriages, the trouble starts as soon as the family met in the airport. While that does indeed happen, that is not so common. It can take months, even years for this kind of relationship to rear its ugly head.

I recommend reading reading reader Sash's post. She was on here when I first arrived early last year and defended her relationship, until she caught him cheating on her, perhaps even at times while she was defending him on here.

Its not just Muslims, either. You'd amazed at the bag of tricks Russian, Asian and Nigerian women have pulled on American man.

If you are not sure about Islam, then it is important to have information with critical points of view about Islam. If your man does not support this, then that tells me he is not very open-minded.

Meeting the family is always nice, but a lot of scammed women have done that as well.

He's making a gift for you, yet you've never heard about scammers making gifts? Two things come to mind here:

1) There are other reasons for a relationship like this to fail besides him being a scammer

2 ) And that does that mean anything. I met a woman here in America on-line in the same state as I had permnanent residency, and yeah, she gave me gifts for X-mas, but it was a FAR cry from what I gave her.

Also, how do you know for certain that he is at home and has a job? Can you honestly say to yourself you know that for a fact? Or is it just because he said so and want to believe him? Bear in mind, Jennifer, it is a LOT easier for a guy to talk (and lie) to women on-line than in person. No matter what kind of equipment you have (webcam), it will never be the same as a real date.

Jennifer, I realize this is not the easiest for you to hear, but give yourself credit for even questioning this, because a lot of people do not and get burned for it. But really, if you need third party confirmation to continue a relationship, that is a bad sign. This kind of thing has happened to me before, and I had all my friends and family telling me it was bogus and I still could not give it up. The fact that he is Moroccan and Muslim is very nearly irrelevant.

If you do decide to go to Morocco, I would watch out for what you would normally watch for in dating an American man, but in order to do so, you CANNOT give him free passes or use excuses like "it's just the culture."

Honestly, even with all the anaylsis and cautions, it still may not be enough, and a lot of people just give up on it because it is too much to deal with, and I do not blame them. Who wants to be a vigilante of their own relationship anyway? Kind of takes the fun out of it.

There seems to be this illusion that on-line relationships are easier, but in reality, they are harder because the communication gap.

I hope this helps.

Luigi

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