To Lea---Marriage and Religion, Muslim, EU visa,

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 9, 2009 at 15:44

Dear Lea:

Thank you for sharing and for reading! I realize it was probably not the easiest thing you have done!

First, don't be silly, you're not a weirdo or paranoid. A lot of women who come on here often ask themselves "Am I just being paranoid?" No, you're not, you're being rational and smart, two key ingredients to finding a fulfilling relationship.

There is some contradiction in your post, and I want you to read this next part carefully on what I have to say: You say that you have no problem marrying this man, yet you are worried about the religion aspect.

You say you trust him, yet you fear that he will try and raise the kids as Muslims behind your back.

That really does not make sense, and your confusion is understandable, but its important for you to recognize that.

A successful marriage must be based on mutual trust, and religious differences can be a huge barrier, especially if you are handling such important matters behind your spouse's back. That is not a trusting relationship, that is a secretive one.

I appreciate that your relationship is in person (believe me, you are better for it) but than alone does not mean there will not be challenges, and many of those will be the same as on-line ones.

Look, Lea, I'm just having trouble seeing how you can bring yourself to marry this man if you do not completely trust him. It almost seems to me like you are hesitant (even afraid) to bring up the subject with him. That is not really a recipe for a good marriage.

If you want to know about information about children between countries, well, I'm not familiar with the laws in Spain. You will need to contact the Spanish government and find that out.

My most notorious experience I've talked about on here invovled my "myspace" woman. She also told me that we could raise the children any religion, but in effect she was just telling me what I wanted to hear. We did meet on a dating site, but she and I met in person quite a lot. In fact, she was cheating on me the entire time we were together.

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