My Story

Submitted by Anon (Indonesia), Jan 19, 2009 at 16:21

I am non muslin, non religious Married for 12 years to a Muslin girl her mother and stepfather live with us. Life was good, we were all happy, business was booming, Our 3 daughters were getting good grades in school. My wife was participating in fashion shows, and charity events our social life was good One might even call it heaven on earth.

Then one day a year ago She announced that she was joining a local woman's group.. this was no surprise we had always talked about everything right from the beginning I gave her my blessing and off she went ,..Even some of the female friends from the earlier social events attended. Every Wednesday the women's group would meet but after a while some of the more affluent that began attending in the beginning dropped out. My wife was one of the only affluent women left in this group of mainly single mothers.

Then one day after six months, She returned home after her meeting and announced she would begin wearing the Hijab full time.This was of course of some surprise to me, we had some discussion and agreed that I did not mind if she wore the Hijabb…A month or so passed and I noticed that my wife was indeed wearing the headdress fulltime. Going out during the day and around the house at night, the only time she seemed to take it off was to shower and sleep. I questioned her about this requirement and did some investigation finding out that the Hijab was not compulsory for Moslem women in Indonesia. She had not worn the Hijab from the day we had met . This continued for another couple of weeks. This was not the beautiful woman I had met, it seemed to me my wonderful wife had disappeared beneath a sack.

So one afternoon I approached my wife and questioned her requirement to wear the headdress around the house, Her response SHOCKED me, she said that because her stepfather lived in the same house he could not see her without it on.

This was the same man that she had grown up with in their family house.

Her next statement was even MORE SHOCKING..

If I could not accept her wearing her HIJAB any where she pleased our relationship was over, terminated. Finito.

I was devastated

After a long discussion she agreed to not wear the Hijab around the house.

My wife continues to attend the weekly meetings, as time goes on she has become more secretive and distant, my companion of the past 12 years has become reclusive only bright when attending her women's group or associating with them. She refuses to attend functions with any of my/our friends. She is a born organizer, still provides me with the essential things needed to maintain our marriage, but the romance has gone, there is no longer the same warmth. .She prays five times a day rising at 4 am to pray, I wake every morning to an empty bed, We never sleep in anymore, hardly ever cuddle

When its time to sleep, my wife arrives in bed an hour later after more praying.

My wife was lucky enough to be chosen to attend the Hajj , her preparation for this event was even more extensive praying, more association with her women's group in the past 3 months with Rammadan and Hajj .Our relationship has become non existent my close companion of the past 12 years has disappeared.

The hajj lasts for about a week. The trip takes about three weeks.

One might have though that after such an absence she would have wished to immediately to return home to her family. But instead organized to visit her adopted ancestral home for another week before returning.

My wife was gone for a month in that time she has called her children 4 times.

I managed to track down the hotel and room number of my wife and called her…

We talked for sometime, in the course of the conversation I asked my wife what was the most important thing was in her life.

She replied GOD was number ONE I asked her what was number TWO she said her children. This is the same person that has always told her children that they are the most important things in her life. There is now even distance between her and her children.

In the past month I have become interested to find out what might have caused this massive change in the queen of our castle, I started researching Islam a predominantly peaceful religion

I read official translations of the Quran…. interesting stuff.

One passage refers to the Sky being held up by invisible pillars.

The next night I called my wife and asked her to tell me what her take was on this

She could not answer me or give an answer that made any sense.

I asked our twelve year old, She explained to me the sky was a reflection of the light from the sun passing through the atmosphere.

There are many other instances of seventh century beliefs that are recorded as the word of God in the Quran.

One cannot disprove that god exists or does not exist, however one can prove that 7^th century manuscripts are indeed the view of the world in that time.

An all knowing God would have know about TV's and air travel, even dinosaurs but there is no reference to them in the Quran

Another passage from the Quran says

"O ye Who believe Ask not questions about things if made plain to you this may cause you trouble, Others that have asked such questions have lost their belief" ( 5 101 – 102 )

One of the Messages from the Prophet a Hadith states

Atta libul ilm faridhatol kuli muslim

Translated this means; "Attainment of knowledge is a must for every muslim."

It seems my wife has now changed her outlook towards her family in her quest to find GOD. Life has now become what is directed by god and is the way of life and the truth.

I read the Quran further

And discovered that the prophet married a six year old girl and consummated the marriage when the child was nine.

The passage in the Quran condones this kind of behavior towards girls of menstrual age.

Instances of 12 year old girls marrying 70 year old men is not uncommon.

One daughter is now 12 and fast approaching menstrual age, her mother now believes she must follow the teachings of her religious book literally to the letter.

My fear is that she will attend one of her meetings and a visiting preacher will express interest in marriage with our daughter… what will transpire.

My wife says that because I cannot accept her new found wisdom she wants a divorce.

Even her parents don't want this

What is the solution

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