Dear Debs---Marriage and Egyptian man

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 20, 2009 at 23:55

Hi there Debs! Thank you for sharing, and I hope all is well in the UK!!

I did read your post, and the first thing I would like to do is let's ignore the fact that he's from Egypt, ok?

The one thing that really sticks out to me is that you say he is hard sometimes, and you have a concern that he will not treat you as an equal in the marriage.

This is legitimate concern because when you are married, you will be with him 24-7 pretty much. Husband and wife. I don't think he's just going to laugh off the differences all the time. It's an impractical expectation.

The truth is, Debs, you can be the most hardcore feminist activist, but I promise you in the end, the conservative man will win 99 out of 100 of those fights.I don't care if he's Muslim or Christian or whatever. What happens sometimes in the marriages that are not scams is that the women feel like they gradually lose themselves and become something they don't want to be. In his mind, you may just end up being the woman who does the chores around the house.

It is nice to see that he is educated, but just remember that just because he is educated does not mean he will forsake his religion. Even if he slept with you before marriage, it does not mean he is religiously liberal.

That really is the key, see religious men, especially ones who know the dating game, will not openly declare themselves to you, certainly not early on and perhaps not even until after marriage. The reason: to increase their chances of getting you to like them back, and the more you like him, the less important religion becomes from the female perspective. There are exceptions, but not if you are hung up on how charming and good looking he is. This where a lot of women get snared Debs.

Most importantly: If you are unsure about how he will treat you---this tells me that you do not trust him. If you cannot trust a man, do NOT marry him, do NOT fall for his charms. I don't care who he is or where he is from. I'm sure the distance does play a role, but again, a marriage without trust cannot be happy whether you convert to Islam or not.

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