My advice

Submitted by Margaret (Poland), Jan 21, 2009 at 21:40

Hola, all what i have read in this page is confusing because all the persons who write here seem to be really honest. I will tell the situation in the best way i can. But first I also have to let you know that I do not think that we can say that all muslin men are the same just because they are poor, here in Mexico (I am mexican, sorry for my english) we are also poor and most of the men are not like that. Well maybe you will think I am the bad person in this story but… we do not know yet.

Of course there are honest, good muslim men- but the thing is they rather marry muslim women- often their cousins/ relatives/clan members...Virginity and modesty- that means veil, not socialising with other men- is important for them...

They do not seek their wives in tourists resorts/ or via facebook...What is worse- working in tourist resorts often makes these men cons- they learn from one another how to get easy money, sex, how to lie and woo a Westerner...I read even an opinion that working 3 years in tourism has a worst impact on these man than being in jail...

Note- that Mexico is a Christian country- even if someone is not religious- there is a certartain set of values that is obvious for him. The very same thing obvious for you and me- are not obvious for a muslim. And I dont say we are good, muslims are bad- but often women dating/marry muslims without realising the huge cultural gap...
Thats why honest Arabs want to have arabic speaking, mulim wife...
On the other hand- those who on purpose seek infidel women- often have hidden agenda- like visa, money, sex, spreading islam, so on...

1)I have relationship in my country and I am not thinking in breaking up… we can say I just want to know because I will go back to Morocco and I do not want to get involved in crazy situations, the plan is that I will stay there for a few months to take pictures and write something for my work.

2)I went to Morocco and i was there for a month, and of course i met a guy and we had "something". I did not say anything and did not ask either, it was just vacations to me and it was fun. I stayed at his house most of the time I was there, he is just three years older than me I am 27), I do not know who the owner of the house is and he just said their parents lived there but they died a long time ago and he is the youngest of his brothers and sisters. He said that just has one brother living in the same city, who lives in other house, he said his brother is a doctor and I met him because my friend (I traveled whit a friend) got sick and the brother came to the house to see her. He said the other brothers and sister are married and that they live in other cities and some of them in other countries. He said he has lived in other countries, sent by the military for training.

His age can be a lie- it is common they lie about it just to seem a perfect match for you- 3 years older- ideal...If he would meet a 24 years old- he would be 27 probably...In fact all you know - could be a lie...Funny- how all the relatives of the Moroccans are doctors...Lisa (a poster here)'s men relatives are also doctors...All the Morrocans consists of doctors and unmarried, single 25+ men...lol

Do you really believe poor Morroco sents military recruits to foreign countries ? Maybe officers or professional soldiers- but for sure not plain privates ...

Military is favourite lying theme too...

3)Everything was good during that month, he was polite and took us to many places. The first week that my friend and I stayed at his house, he was on vacations too, then he went back to work, he is in the military. Then I came back to my country and we kept in touch, not by phone or messenger but we talk on skype.

4)During this time we have talked about many things but never about getting married, just about some kind of friendship or relationship and he said that means he is not dating another woman, I did not say anything. He says he loves me and that he wants to spend more time whit me to see how it works, I do not say anything. He had never said anything about getting married or nothing similar. He does not treat me as princess but just as a normal person, I mean he is not saying he loves me every five minutes or saying that I am beautiful or nothing similar.

So it is not about friendship, is it? If you were just a friend - then dating others should be ok...

The only allowed relationship between man and woman in islam is marriage...And note that all horror stories started well...Even the most abusive relationships start well...

5)I am not rich, just a normal woman of my age who works to afford travels (and he knows that) and do not think he is interested in a Mexican visa that does not offer any benefits, he has not asked for money and I guess the deal was better for me until now. I told him clearly that I will rent a place to stay for the months I will be there (I am going whit my friend again), to make clear that I do not expect to stay at his house... but i am not sure if that was clear enought to him.

So what do you think of all this? Please could you tell me if there is a chance that I am getting involved in something weird? Do you have advises please?

There are many things he can be after- Ive read one story about a women who married a Tunesian and he forced her into prostitution (well she was being raped in his house, he was bringing the clients himself)- she was dragged so that she didnt even attempted to escape- she was rescued by her parents finally...but imagine the pain she is still in...

He can be after sex...or only after small gift- like your laptop...who knows?

Also - it is quite unlikely he has not married yet...Men there marry just after they reach 20...Poor men marry even poorer women- not every women can demand huge dowry or gifts for parents...

You told him you would rent a place- well he has time to change your attitude...Sweet words, so on...

I wish you all the best- I just gave you my sincere opinion- didnt want to offend you or sth (:

But I would run for my safety if I were you...

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