Its difficult to really know.

Submitted by anonymus 3 (United Kingdom), Jan 22, 2009 at 15:56

Hi green I know how you are feeling, this situation gets your head and heart in such a dilema that makes you think " this guy is so wonderful, charming,romantic, good looking,says all the right things" He makes me feel really good and I think he has feelings for me? Then something happens and you get the feeling that something is not right? and its on your mind but the guy is so georgeous and persistant that you choose to ignore it for a time and say to yourself " no, its me , i,m being para noid, i,m jumping to conclusions. Then something else happens that makes you think? again you let it go but then it comes back in your head and you question it again because we really know that it isn,t right!

Do you feel guilty Green for having these questionable thoughts? I did,I felt so bad at times thinking I was a bad person for not trusting him even though my family and friends told me it was as plain as the nose on my face that he was dodgy. I even felt like a bunny boiler! Mine used to go off line regular too, signing in again and again? The thing is you dont really realize whats happened until its over and then you look back, you get back to reality and wonder why you took all the excuses when underneath your instincts were trying to warn and protect you.

Mine never asked me for money at the beginning but I realize now that he probably scammed much from me for the hotel stay that he always arranged. 10 months down the line, he had no job and needed 1000LE sending. Of course I said no because I had none either,( and I wouldn,t anyway) but he then said okay 500 plz! Hizham said he would ask after I was emotionally involved and yes he was right. What I am trying to say is go with your gut feeling, if it feels dodgy then it probably is.What sort of marriage does he want, Orfi marriage means you can sleep together but you are not legally married. When you are with a man he should make you feel that you can trust him, not disappearing or having to make lots of excuses for this and that, I always gave mine the benefit of the doubt, but never again! I learned the hard way. Remember actions speak louder than words, Ha!

in my case words spoke the loudest! Green, mine wanted to get married after 3 months and I too was being pressured, telling me all his friends got married and his brother calling me asking me why I dont get married? It would of been all at my expense! because he never had any money. Now he has gone , probably moved on because he is tired of waiting now, he even told me recently if we get married okay, if not then he will get another woman no problem! and he loves me sooo much!! Mine wore a ring on his marriage finger, said he bought it for me,(in my absence) I was his wife, later he said it had been stolen. 3 months later he had another one ,again for me, he took it off because I said I should choose one for him,I noticed he was wearing it in Egypt when visiting his family. Also he was always on the phone to his SISTER giving her credit for her phone when away working. I am sorry if I sound all negative but we need to be cautious and try to step back and think , if you are having doubts now what will it be like later.

Take your time ,get to know him and his family, be observant, listen to how you feel and dont be pressured into marriage, I nearly was but phew!!! thank god I didn,t. It is very hard to let go of something that is so good, but you have to ask yourself is it worth it? What can become of this? Can I see myself happy with him? Will I have peace of mind? If you read the stories on here you will see that muslim men change their views re- religious differences after marriage, Islam is a way of life for them. Now my story is obviously not a positive one and I am not saying your guy is bad because I dont know him like you do, just go with your instincts and dont put up with excuses that you know are far fetched, I did and its not a nice feeling afterwards. Mine went because I wouldn,t rush into marriage, he kept saying we have been together long time but it was mostly on msn and texting. Wasn,t interested in coming here on a tourist visa! too expensive 20,000 LE?(thats what he told me) I wish you all the best and time will tell x

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