To I just dunno

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 26, 2009 at 23:33

Hi there and thanks for writing.

First of all, I am very grateful for you kind words. What I try and do is just to get the folks on this site in touch with their better angels so that they really can figure out what is going on. It's my understanding that many people are just not sure and are sick and tired of the mistrust feeling.

The trouble is that this feeling comes naturally with distance communication. The reason for that is how we communicate, only about 30% of which is words. Gestures, contact and not having a screen (which essentially means barrier) are all ways in which we communicate.

There is nothing fancy or unique or different about cell phones with multiple functions or the internet on the principles of communication; just because we can contact more people does NOT mean we can know them. It's like a quality vs. quantity deal.

I would be happy to answer any of your questions and I read what you what you had to say. I understand that is perhaps not easy to talk about what you are going through, but be assured you are not the only one and were not the only one. Admitting that is half the battle in my view.

The one thing I can tell you is that pretty much every relationship starts off nice. I know of cases where two people meet, hate each other and then fall in love, but once an actual relationship (even many flings) starts, it all looks rosy in the beginning. I think a lot of women on here forget that, and probably because many of them have been married or seriously committed to someone else for years if not decades, and while that is an admirable achievement, when you get out of the game as they say, it's not like it all comes back to you.

A lot of people call the first 3-4 months of an in-person relationship the honeymoon phase. With on-line relationships, this can last even longer or be a permanent phase, which is not healthy. The honeymoon phase is where everything seems perfect for two key reasons:

1) You really don't know each other yet

2) Both people are probably not willing to show things the other partner may not like, because in the fact of their minds, they do not want to risk losing the other person.

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