Weak and stupid

Submitted by mesmerized (United States), Jan 27, 2009 at 14:07

After posting here he called me (the two events not related) and I found myself buying into his logic.
"I am not going to force you to be with me, but if we are happy together , what is the problem?" He never really got angry with me when I questioned his motives for being with an older woman... but he asked me after third time I brought up the topic (in different ways , contexts each time) with an impatient tone: "Why do you always ask me about this? This is all you ever talk about. I told you I liked you when I met you and and we are good together."
Very simplistic and easy when I am with him.

When I am home or at work and my head clears, I think of this site and think, if there is a only a say, 25% chance he is a scammer and that most Morrocan men who fall for American/European women, I still cannot take the chance.

I do not hold his religion against him but he himself explained to me that in his country he is allowed to take a second wife (only if the first wife agrees as of 2003 law passed in Morocco). Why would he want a non-Muslim wife who could never agree to this? i.e., to remind you I am 48- with 4 children (almost all grown). Although still technically still capable of having children, I am done with that part of my life. I told him this too. Still her persisted with how he loved me and just wanted us to be happy.

He included me in everything- dinner plans with his friends - social events- not just our own dates. I saw him more in the short time we were together than anyone else I have dated. For those who understand, I am just asking how do you get over these guys.

I am embarassed and ashamed of myself for falling so hard so fast. I have been on Match.com for many months and dated lots of guys and had some hits and misses, but never felt like this before.

When I step back I think realistically-
Why be sad- this would not have worked.
My children would not likely have accepted it. His family would not have accepted me. Marriage would not be good for me I have a stable good paying job with a pension and I own a home. He lives in an apartment with three other young Moroccan men . I cannot do it in person- I am so weak with him. I just told my best friend- the hard part is letting go of how joyful and loved I felt with him when we were together- but a 48 year old woman cannot afford to play around and just try dating a risky guy like this for fun. At this point in my life I want to share and care and no drama.

I think being with him is inviting drama. If I am wrong then I may have lost a loving man... God only knows.

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