TO LISA AND ANYONE ELSE....

Submitted by SADDERBUTHOPEFULLYWISER (United States), Jan 29, 2009 at 09:01

I will relate only the facts. Met hubby online in Dec., 07. Visited Morocco 4 times, staying more than 3 months total. Talked online 4-5 hours every night. Trusted that he loved me. Loved his family, still do. Talked to his friends and family all the time while there. Poor man, but had skills and jobs. All his friends talked in cafe, even those without jobs.

Spent other time playing cards, drinking coffee, drinking booze, smoking cigarettes. I know for sure he loved me, as much as he is capable of loving anyone, which is not much.

I am a peaceful person, hate conflict. Older, attractive, well educated. I paid for all visa, etc., travel, expenses as he only made enough to get by, which is most of them (his friends). Gorgeous in looks and body. When we went back to Morocco last summer, I knew he would go out with his buddies, but drinking all night, etc. Grow up and get a friggin life. Even had major fight in front of his parents. And you know what? He treated his mom like crap too, screaming at her with his dad standing there. He says he is grown up and can do what he wants, they know how he is. No problem with him. So he is equal opportunity -hole, when he gets mad at his friends he cuts them off too.

Fast forward to present: Married more than a year. He has screamed at me, told me I am crazy, quit one job because they "told him do this and do that." Refused to go to work at present job without calling in for 3 days cuz he was mad at me. Hates my dog. Is mad cuz he signed a prenup. Resents me owning my own home and having retirement money.

I have gotten $11,000 out of retirement savings to pay off debts, which he told me "he didn't ask me to pay for that stuff." This after going through probably 10,000 more in gifts, etc. which I willingly did. When here, he Wanted to pay 50.00 a month for expenses, pays 300, plus his gas, car payment, and his food. I pay taxes, car insurance, health care, health insurance, phones, electricity, gas, water, cable, internet, clothes, shoes, everything else. Resents that I make good money, but I am pretty much tapped out right now.

I know he loved me as much as he could, but he hates himself. Rages and throws things. Says that is just him, he doesn't have a problem. Thought we were doing better cuz he acted like he was finally happy. Btw, his only job around the house is cooking (for himself) and mowing yard, of which he did like two times all summer. I would get out in the yard with torn rotator cuff and do it and he would not come and help.

This week: Got bill from tv provider with $300.00 in porn charges. Evidently spent up to 6 hours watching cuz he only has to work 4 days per week. And this was only over about 5 days. They evidently cut off access cuz of the bill or he would probably be still doing it. Must have waited til I was out of house to watch. Was gonna sneak and pay. When confronted: You are crazy, all men do this, all men from Morocco do this, all my friends and their wives think you are crazy. I do not have problem. I am just me. I do not have problem, you are problem. All American women are crazy like you.

Now: living in separate bedrooms in my home . He refuses to leave, says call police. I have never been involved with police in this small town, don't want the publicity. He wants me to pay his airline ticket back and give him 1000-2000 cash. I tell him I don't have it. I cut off computer internet, tv except basic, taking back new computer and tv so I won't have to pay for all of them. He says he will leave me his car with payment, we will nto be able to get what we owe, so I will have to pay that too. He says he will pay porn bill with credit card, which I expect he will leave on me. Still says nothing is wrong with him, that is normal. Am trying to live peacefully til he leaves. Am afraid he will change mind adn want to stay. But who would want to sleep with somebody after hearing about all that. Asked him how he could face me when I came home from work after watching all day...yuck.

Interpretation from me only: lazy, paranoid, anger management issues, immature, spoiled, crazy man.

You know, I had same idea. Enjoy it while it lasts, but here I am brokenhearted, sort of broke, and really being depressed. Hope I don't get in trouble with my job as I am typing from there and not supposed to use computer, but none at home now.

My life is a wreck. I am embarrassed and humiliated and stuck with him for now. Please keep me in your prayers. I know things will get better, but I worry about my dog and sometimes if he gets too mad what he might do. So I try to keep the peace. Never been involved with a man that was abusive before, never again, my friends. Now gotta pay for divorce and hope he will sign papers. I will keep you informed. PRAY FOR ME PLEASE....

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