HI VIRGINIA....

Submitted by SADDERBUTHOPEFULLYWISER (United States), Jan 29, 2009 at 12:58

Yes, as I have learned, a couple can be in love. But as my hubby has always told me, love is not everything. He sure as He** got that right. Yes, I know he loved me and I loved him, BUT if one or both of you is a little crazy, maybe a liar, insecure, immature, stubborn(didn't say he was all of these) or whatever, you still can't make it. Age, culture, attitude, maturity, family, all of that is taken into account.

I think my hubby's family loves me like a daughter. They will be heartbroken when they find this out. They cried when we had that big fight and I packed to leave. In fact, they made me stay until all was calmed down.

As for him, he will not go home for a long while.He will go back to his old job, hope his boss buys him a business (all of them have that same dream, no work, plenty of money), and start looking for another woman, probably Moroccan. He says Moroccan women don't want poor men, so they do have their troubles with that as most are poor. I may even let his family know what happened, but I hate to break their hearts to get back at them. They have given my many gifts and love as I have given them. They have seen his fits. They even told me him and his brother have "anger issues" since they were little boys (this is after we are married and he shows his butt in front of all of us and turns it into me making a problem). He says I am crazy cuz I read this and visajourney. He says I listen to other's advice. If that were true, I would still be single...lol I think deep down many of them really hate/dislike America/Bush/women/strong women and it just has to pop out of their mouths.

So what I am saying is, you can't change what they are. My hubby is Muslim, but do good Muslims watch porn, drink, and smoke? Not to my way of thinking. He says well, he is not strict....no joke!! Not saying I am perfect. Probably gave him too much advice, like a mother. He actually said to me "If you tell a Moroccan man what to do, he will do opposite." Yes, they ARE treated like kings, waited on my moms, sisters, and nieces. Welcome to American, fellas. They should wear teeshirts that say 'IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!!"

But, I actually know 4 other couples like us. One guys is so nice, quiet, distances himself from Maroc, never gives her grief. Another has slapped his wife and she is not allowed to talk to me. The third, both chat with other men and women. The fourth, he acts like he is 12, driving the car without a license. So maybe out of these 1 or 2 may survive. I know, too that American men can be just as bad (and women). But add in all the other crap, not much of a chance.

Hubby was right, love isn't everything. Probably not even the most important thing. Without respect, trust, putting your other first, communication in a calm manner, what do you get? Not a darn thing but grief.

Anyway, I do dread the loneliness, but didn't marry him out of lonliness--had plenty of other friends/women/men to talk to. But it's like starting all over again and I am not young. And I am a heck of a lot poorer. I will have two cars to make payments on and with cars being so cheap, I will lose money on his and have to pay that too. In fact, now I feel old and tired. However, I am a strong lady and will eventually snap back with the love of friends, family, and God. Just keep me in your prayers, and I pray that those who need help will get it from God. God knows the truth that I busted my butt for him, but you can't make somebody love or respect you. My five thousand cents......

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