Success stories and the internet---a world of gray shades

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Feb 6, 2009 at 16:18

Hi there Debs!

Thanks so much for the update! If this is a bad deal, I do hope you get to the bottom of it.

I want you to feel welcome and though I am associated with this site, I do hope you'll check back with us from time to time.

Slowing things down is always a good thing in these cases, but when scammers target women, they tend to be more patient and wait until you are emotionally invested.

There are a few reasons why you won't find very many success stories on the internet.

1) People who are truly secure and happy in any kind of social relationship do not need to talk about it...even amongst themselves, much less to people they've never met on-line.

While I obviously welcome requests for advice, I always, always want people who ask for the advice to look at why they are doing so.

2) Most people will not date internationally, interreligiously or interracially. If you read most of the stories on here, they involve divorced women, so dating someone of a different religion, race or country was not even their first choice. Even if you see a lot of profiles on a dating site, most of those will not meet a solid life partner off the internet or in another country.

3) I really don't think you can measure all of these in terms of success. A few married women on here have posted, and they indicate that their marriages are difficult because of the cultural differences. So, as of the time of their posts, they have not been had or scammed, but aside from that, you still have those cultural differences and of course your usual pool of men who jerks in any culture. A couple of the ones who are married also meet their man in their home country and saw him often and he was very Westernized, and the only difference was ethnic hertiage.

I'm sure you've heard the phrase "opposites attract". That's true, but study after study after study shows that most successful relationships are based on similarities, not differences.

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