Response to Isis

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Feb 15, 2009 at 21:47

(Can't wait to hear what Luigi says about that comment!)

1) Your relationship developed via distance the same as all the others on here.

2) I did not realize you were married. Just bear in mind that doesn't stop people from cheating

3) Boring? Do you really think what we went through on here was fun, Isis? It was a living hell to say the least. I'm not even going to pretend that my most colourful situation even came close to your divorce, but it still was bad enough.

4) Well, at least he respects Western culture. I'm not so sure what your stance is on it anymore, though I will note your concern for Western women.

5) Yes, Isis, it does sound like you were careful and cautious, compared to some of the posters, myself included, though I did not marry. Still, that is not much comparison. We were all in many cases careless, naive and acted just plain stupid. Your observations regarding on-line dating are in many cases correct.

See, Isis unlike your divorce, warning signs with the internet and distance are not as clear, which is why so many women come on here and ask for advice. I would have a hunch that nothing could have prepared you for what happened with your ex-husband as far as expecting him to cheat. So, it's obvious that situation was not your fault and I want to say I doubt there was any way of knowing what would happen. We just don't expect people to be that selfish. But, somehow, someway (you don't have to tell me), you found out about it.

When your significant other lives even an hour away, like my myspace woman, it's a little harder to nail them in the act. Now, it's my understanding that you have your country, the wonderful land of Austrailia, and he has his Egypt, one of the oldest on Earth. If that is still the case and if you both are happy like that, well, it's very different than pretty much all the situations on here and there is not much basis for comparsion except for the distance. The reality is, most women and men are not going tot take all the time and effort you did to vet your man. And even then there is no guarunatee. You never really know until after the fact.

6) I hope this works out for you, Isis, just keep in mind not everyone has the strength you do. I know I didn't. One of the biggest concerns I have for people on this site is that they will run back to their man or woman. I should know because even after all that crap, I gave my myspace woman a second chance. It did not last long though, because she has not changed. Heck, it's been four years and her credit card company still calls my old house demanding money.

I would not be surprised at all to see you back on here in 2012 with a tale of woe, but like I said, you won't receive any condemnation from me. Unfortunately, I cannot pat you on the back either and say well done because you are now in a legal agreement with this man and it can take time for marriages to break down.

I say this because a couple of things on here bother me. First of all, I was appalled, Isis, that Lisa USA's long, detailed essays had such an influence on you and got you to exempt your principles so suddenly and quickly and secondly, your continued presence on here. Free speech? yes. But why, Isis? You spend more time defending the side of Islam in these relationships than actutally researching and learning, as do all the other general defenders. As you have pointed out to me many times, this blog is titled "advice to non-Muslim women dating Muslim men". There are other pages here on Dr. Pipes that are much more useful for learning about Islam, yet I rarely see women in these relationships posting on those pages and by what some of them say on here, it is very clear they are reading about Islam at all period. Probably because they are all caught up in thier man's youth and exotic appearence. It's that obvious.

It's a gamble to say the least, Isis, and I really would rather not see you get hurt again. You've already been through more than your share for one lifetime.

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