Amy, internet love

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Feb 19, 2009 at 18:03

Hi Amy

Well what struck me first of all was that this Moroccan man seems quite impatient for you to visit him. If he truly loves you, and doesn't have an ulterior motive, he will wait as long as it takes. Love is patient. The second thing that bothered me was that you said you have been talking for the last few weeks? Or longer? Because a few weeks is definitely too quick for anyone to fall in love, especially not on the internet.

I can definitely understand you falling for him... Moroccan men are usually very charming, but in my opinion, the internet is not a great place to meet them. That said, you can find good Moroccan men on there. Where is he from in Morocco? And what is his social background? Also, knowing his age would help. Every woman wants to feel loved, therefore you having "I love you" drummed into your ear every 5 minutes must feel great.

There is a small chance that this man could be genuine, but one thing you should never do is fall for affectionate words. Put yourself in his place - if you wanted to charm someone in a short space of time, but you didn't have much money or common interests with him, the first thing you'd do is use sweet words. It's done so easily... I know for sure I could have an online conversation with any man, and tell him I want to hug and kiss him non-stop, and he'd be like clay in my hands. What he does for you in real life is the biggest test of character.

It's true what you said about the hugging and kissing. That said, maybe he is lonely, there are a lot of single men in Morocco, and high-maintenance Moroccan women, but you will need to get to know his family. Family is a big part of Moroccan life. And the question is, what do you want out of this? If you want a serious relationship, I'm sure he will want someone bashful and not someone who gives in to his sweet-nothings. Act a little tougher with him, even somewhat feminist lol, and it is then that you might see his true self. At the moment, I'm sure you are being quite passive with him, is that right? Well you have to give him a chance to show his true colours, especially when put on the spot/under pressure.

As for marriage, he really shouldn't mention that full stop, not at this stage, and discussed via a keyboard. Do you want to marry him? Have you thought of the consequences? Who would stay where etc., meeting his family and the possibility of children? When you meet him, Amy, he will be a living, breathing male with a social life and preoccupations; he won't be Mr. Romantic 24/7, nor an exotic image on a webcam and you won't be able to switch him off when he gets on your nerves lol.

It's true what you said, there are good and bad men in the world, and everyone should be given at least a small chance, but I just don't like the sound of falling in love over the internet. I think, Amy, you have fallen in love with his beautiful words and dreams of what might be. When you see him in the flesh, look into his amazing eyes and touch him with your bare hands, maybe then you will know whether you love him or not.

My suggestion to you would be, if you really want to go to Morocco and can afford it, why not? It's a magical place and you'll have a great time there. But think about it carefully, save up and prepare for it. Don't involve yourself with him too seriously and show that you respect yourself. Have him as a good friend, and don't let him take advantage of you in any way. Don't portray yourself as Yet Another Gullible Westerner, when you are so much more than that.

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