Heartfelt Response to Amy--Moroccan Man, on-line dating

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Feb 19, 2009 at 20:49

Hi Amy!

First of all, thank you for sharing that! I'm sure it was not easy. So, the posts are on here are kinda making you scratch your head over this one, huh?

First of all, let's forget that your man is even from Morocco. The reality about on-line dating, no matter who is doing it, is that there is a major communication gap. While it is easier to communicate with words, words are only about 30% of the total communication between people. You get a little more with the webcam, but no on-line encounter can EVER be the same as in person.

Why? The timing of gestures, being able to touch him, being in each others bioelectric field, ect.

Look, Amy, the reality is a LOT of people in North America get screwed over or hurt in international relationships. It is not reported on much, but the stories on here are more common than you think. People from all over the world do this. Heck, it's even easier to scam men than women. A lot of times, all they need is a fake picture and the guy is already forking over money. I can't even tell you how many stories there are about women from Asia, Eastern Europe, Russia, Africa and Latin America have gotten involved with a man from here and got used for a money or visa or both.

The fact that you have kids and are single: That is the prime target for scammers. There is kind of this unwritten rule among some men that divorced women with kids are desperate and easy. Now, I'm not saying that this is you by any means, but I would bet real money it is what he's thinking.

If you're going to be heartbroken over this, my advice is definately not to continue this. There is no shame in that, because a lot of people who try this just do the smart thing and quit because it's just too much work.

Perhaps the greatest myth about international, on-line dating is that it is easy. In reality, because of the communication gap, a shot at a decent relationship would require more work than if it were in person.

There is really nothing special or unique about on-line dating. There have been documented cases about relationships by mail and phone that have also bordered on bizarre and scandulous long before the internet came to be.

The reality is that even on legit dating sites, most people who date on-line will not meet a solid life partner on-line. I'm sure you've used the internet for work and leisure, but the kind of people who use the internet to find friends or romance usually are mentally ill, socially isolated, feel alienated or they want to mess around and screw someone over. If this goes to far and you enter into a legal agreement with this man (marriage) he'll have a chance to do more than just break your heart.

I really don't think he's legit, but even on the small chance he is, well, you still have your usual pool of guys who act like jerks and even then you have cultural differences. The reality is, most successful relationships are based on ones that have similarities, not differences.

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