Response to Debs

Submitted by Isis (Australia), Feb 23, 2009 at 01:08

Hi Debs,

You are asking a lot of questions here but that is what you need to do. Regards living in Egypt - I was commuting four, five or even six times a year to Egypt for nearly three years but as we now have together a business which can be effectively managed on both of our continents, he is now with me in my country for 6 months and then I will travel back with him and we will stay in Egypt together for 6 months until we decided what is best for our relationship.

Getting to this point has been a long process. I met him in Egypt but our courtship was not rushed and took the normal "getting to know you" time. As you also now realise the cultural gap is large and needs understanding from both sides. As I have spent a lot of time in Egypt I have come to know much about their culture and family orientation. I am accepted by his family. Granted it took a long while for his Mum to meet me as she is a traditional rural Egyptian woman who is comfortable in her home and rarely ventures out only to meet with female relatives on occasions. Also only one of his brothers speaks English and his father none at all. But they are welcoming and his mother smothers us with food when we are there, gives gentle advice when I have a cold or a tummy bug and is a good mother-in-law to me.

I think that the best advice that I can give you for when you meet his family is to make sure that you take gifts for them all. Within a family unit, Egyptians are very generous especially when they are visiting others. They will also love that you are taking the time to learn Arabic and will greatly appreciate your efforts and expect lots of laughs in this regard.

With regards to Islam - my man prays when he can and listens to prayers on the radio but there has not been a problem with our religions. He is happy that I am a Christian as it is haram (against Islam) not to have a religion. We did briefly once discuss me converting - but I told him that I was happy being a Christian and he said that it was fine as he has many Christian friends and it is not a problem with him.

Living in the west has been an eye-opener for my man and he accepts even more so my independence and the fact that western women work as hard as the men. In Egypt the man is the breadwinner and the women look after the men - as simple as that.

In all honesty, I find life in Egypt hard. We have our own home there and have set it up beautifully but just the simple exercise of shopping makes me realise how pampered we are in the west. No Lancome or Estee Lauder there I'm afraid! But I love the people and their centuries old culture and it makes it all worthwhile. I too can speak some Arabic and this is always an icebreaker with Egyptians especially when bargaining for something that you dearly want or just asking directions. There are quite a few ex pats in the area where we live in Egypt so I have integrated into the western side of Egypt quite well.

But it all takes time. You are doing all the right things in preparing for a happy future .

All the best.

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