Dear Bewildered

Submitted by Isis (Australia), Feb 23, 2009 at 06:51

I really do feel for you in this situation and please understand that you will eventually come to realisation that you have passed through this time on a journey that will make you stronger.

Please don't let this man make you feel gulity about not visiting him more often. You have done all that is expected of a western woman in a relationship with a young Egyptian man in Egyptian young man terms - you have funded your own travel, paid for the flats and hotels and I assume given him designer clothes and much, much more. But to him - it is not enough. I hope that you can now see him as the selfish, greedy and self centred person that he is.

If you couldn't trust him 100% when you were with him in hindsight it wouldn't have made for a very honest and open marriage. Trust is the main component of any marriage or relationship so please be thankful that the relationship cooled before you lost far, far more. He will repeat this behaviour with the woman he is with currently and she will not be the last. In time you will come to see that you were fortunate to get out of it when you did. Continue to be purposeful and not answer his texts or messages and show him that you are a strong person that will not be messed around with. Let him lose his dignity - don't lose yours!

Unfortunately, I have seen this same scenario with a few acquaintances in western/gEgyptian relationships. The men have promised the women the world and the women have blindly fallen for the handsome young men declaring their undying love but there has been nothing under this facade to support a long lasting relationship. When there is a hiccup such as time and distance, lack of money, lack of visas and the temptation of other women, it all crumbles away.

There are good men in Egypt but they are not waiters in the hotels ana restaurants. They are not staffing the cruise boats or in the dive shops of Sharm el Sheikh or Hurghada as instructors. The good men are higher up the economic and social ladder in Egypt and they are honest, loyal, worldy, educated and respectful of all women.

Time heals all wounds but please keep your sense of adventure and visit Egypt again. You will be wiser for your experience and your new found knowledge will help you have a great time. I have seen this happen too.

All the best.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".