don't blame yourself, bewildered

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Feb 23, 2009 at 07:28

This man really isn't worth your time, and please don't blame yourself for his unreasonable behaviour, this is exactly what men like him want. If a man truly loves a woman, he won't say "I got bored waiting for you so I moved onto the next one". That's cruel and inhumane. It usually means he had an ulterior motive, a plan that wasn't moving fast enough. Some people wait for a loved one for years because they're loyal to their memory, & could never allow another person to replace them. By saying that he was trying to make you feel guilty & hurt, perhaps a little bit jealous. If he's so bored or lonely he should get a hobby. I could say it over and over, but words are cheap, they're a birth right and they don't take up much physical energy. It's what he does for you in reality that tests his worth. He neither funded your flight nor your vacation, which is unacceptable for a muslim man in traditional society... a man would never let his wife pay for her travel costs, if he let her travel alone at all.

I think this man is a liar, and not a very slick one at that... do you really want a man like that in your life? I myself think you've made a lucky escape to not get further involved with him... because the women that do land up in unimaginable emotional, financial & psychological states. Sometimes on the brink of getting a divorce... and all their dreams in tatters. There are a lot of good Egyptian men, but some of the worst are found at tourist resorts; some of them don't even particularly like tourists, but they pretend to in order to sell their goods and/or themselves. There was one Egyptian man I knew who scammed several older women, and later let on that he planned to set off a bomb in a tourist area of Egypt. Scammers and terrorists usually have similar mentalities: they are full of hatred, outcasts in their society, they don't have the patience - they are usually impatient like this man - nor the morals to deal with situations in civil, logical way. Instead of enduring life's difficulties & working hard to make a better life for themselves, they resort to using others. Because hey, it's so much quicker and easier!

The "magic eyes", "sleepless nights" lines are some of the most popular amongst casanovas in tourist resorts. The veteran players teach them to the new players, and it goes on and on. Men like that see women as packages, like when you select the best business or vacation package, and if one package isn't pleasing him enough, he upgrades to what he feels is a better deal - perhaps with more money, & someone more naive & submissive, who will tolerate his BS.

If I were you I'd let this experience motivate you into achieving even more in your life. Remove the "man" from your life, don't respond to him, let him cry for you. Hell, make him feel at least half as bad as he's made you feel (if he has any emotions, that is). If anything you should pity his new woman, who will probably also land up heartbroken... and then the next woman, and the next, before he finally settles down with his long-suffering Egyptian wife (if he ever does).

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