becreative, the army, petty lies etc

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Mar 9, 2009 at 18:30

Hmm, becreative, your last post concerned me a little... you said that he's around 35 years old... the army is usually reserved for fit, 18-24-year-old lads. For a man of his age, it's extremely rare. Even if he was drafted in for the army, he'd be there for longer than a week! Besides, the army excuse seems to be a popular line amongst Egyptians, not sure why exactly, I guess it's an easy way of brushing someone off.

Because, let's face it, us westerners don't have too much knowledge when it comes to the army. He does, to me, seem to be telling a few petty lies, which, sorry to say, a lot of small-town Egyptians (especially from the west bank) are known for! I think it's kind of a habit for a lot of them lol! But don't take them too seriously unless they tell really disturbing stories. The problem is, it's their culture - if a British guy told us some of the things that Egyptian men do, we'd refer them to a counsellor of some sort, but you get used to them in time.

You have every right to be paranoid. Don't let it drive you nuts, but don't turn the other cheek either. And, becreative, please don't involve yourself with him seriously at this stage - let him know that he's just a friend. The more you involve yourself with him, the more you'll have to lose, the more heartbroken you'll become in the end. Money isn't the worst loss, it's a loss of another kind that hurts more. Some of these men are very hard to forget, even if you're not that fond of them, something about them will remain with you forever. Also, if he is a "bad guy", remember that scammers in places like Egypt can be very ruthless - even when it comes to kids. When I was small, I had my passport stolen on a night-train while I was asleep, & even my Maghrebian stepfather was robbed of around 100 pounds.

I don't believe for one minute that he's a virgin... a 35-year-old Egyptian male virgin? Them guys are way too h*rny to throw that line, unless he's some kind of monk hahaha. Jokes aside, I'm just generalizing here, but my average guess would be that he has an Egyptian wife that he perhaps married at around 20-ish, she possibly lives somewhere in the city, perhaps with a bunch of kids. And that the Egyptian man in question has worked in tourist resorts in order to support his family.

But you know, sometimes the men don't even love their virgin wives - they just did it to please their families, & for religious reasons. And not every Egyptian man follows this rule, mainly men from traditional communities do. Does he seem traditional? A lot of West Bankers are. Sharm el Sheikh... well it does have quite a notorious reputation, a lot of perversion occurs in that place, you could call it the gigolo centre of Egypt lol. The main attraction there isn't the pyramids or the tombs, but rather the hedonism & the boys. There aren't a whole lot of decent men there & a lot of scam-lines are passed around. But that said, it's possible that he wasn't involved in any of that sleaze, not everyone is, as it's easier to make money there.

The quick "I love yous", the celibacy & the army all sound like a big bunch of bla bla bla to me. And if I were you, don't show him that you're impressed with his small-talk. I know it sounds harsh, but you have to be cold & firm. You are a respectable woman - don't stop proving that to him until he knows it.

Ok, well my final judgement is that he's telling a few white lies, and as you probably know, Egyptian men are stubborn as hell, so you may never find out the truth, unless you're shrewd enough. Ask a lot of questions, & keep a record of everything that he says so that you can look back and evaluate. To those telling you not to go to Egypt, well that's your decision, you're an adult. If I were in your shoes, I'd go & have a laugh & a good time, nothing wrong with that. But your destiny lies in your hands & no one elses'. Only you have the power to decide where you want to take this relationship. If he did try anything on with you, that would be assault, & sex offenders don't have an easy time in Egypt. I was involved in one such incident there & the perpetrator could've received up to 7 years in jail - & he didn't even do much.

Anyway, I don't think he will try it on with you with your child present, teach him to respect you. If anything bad did happen, you could always take a spray of some sort - maybe even insecticide lol. God, I wish there was some sort of spray to keep all the hassling men away - maybe they should sell that in their bazars, I'm sure it would be popular! Even the tourist police can be pretty perverted, but if they see you have a kid with you, you'll probably receive more justice if anything occurs.

But all in all enjoy yourself, keep your eyes open, have fun with your daughter (:

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