Heartfelt Thoughts for Anna

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Mar 12, 2009 at 21:23

Dear Anna:

I can understand your confusion and frustration, and I am sure glad that you shared your situation with us.

An algerian man wants to have a religious marriage with me. This is not legally binding. But for him it is important because he says we can then live together and start a family.

This sounds like utter nonsense from him, Anna! You don't have to be religious to have a family :)

He sya's if he was just marrying me for a greencard he wouldn't have a religios marriage because the religious marriage is efore ALLAH, Why would he lie before ALLAH? The religious marriage is in front of a IMAM and is very serious for a muslim.

Anna, in any religion marriage is supposed to be serious, but the reality is, it often is not, even if he says so.

Why would he lie before Allah? He's not even religious now, Anna. He's already betrayed Allah on Islamic terms.

I stated I would convert to ISLAM and he siad it will be done the day of the wedding. He says he wants me to wear the headscarfe and is teaching me how to pray(in arabic). He has already bought me books on islam and the prayer. It is very important to him that I am a practising muslim once married.

From what you have said and from my perspective as a guy, this whole religious cherade is designed to control you. I've seen it before. Anna, if you go through with this be assured he will expect you to follow Islam to the letter. As for him, well, let's just say he'll reserve the right to keep it more flexible---perhaps even cheating on you while you are not allowed to have other male friends or leave the house for fun.

My question is. WHy would he go to such an effort to buy me books on islam, to teach me the religion if he was just planning on a greencard then divorce me?? Could he still be a scammer if we have a religious marriage? Is he just acting that he cares about my religious involvement to trick me into believing he is going to stay with me? He wants to have a baby STRAIGHT AWAY snd he is very controlling of what I wear(has to be respectful).

The reality is Anna, there's always a chance of a visa scam with an international marriage, but even if he's not a scammer, there are other motives where this can go bad. My thoughts on him wanting to have a baby right away is so he can

Is he a scammer or serious? He lives with me. He doesn't have permanent residence in the USA . He is 8 years older than me and currently NON RELIGIOUS and has lived with other women before. He is already very critical of everything and JEALOUS.

He may not be a scammer as someone else on here said, but the jealousy presents a problem. As a guy, Anna, I can pretty much tell you this behavior will not change over time but get worse. I cannot emphasize enough that if you marry this man, you can expect him to control your every move when it comes to having male friends and covering yourself up. Expect to be confined much of the time to the house.

You really MUST ask yourself if you really want to live like this, because you are the one who is changing here, NOT him!

Is he real of an ACTOR?? How desperate are these men wanting a greencard?

People from different countries will invest signifcant, meticulous campaigns to trick someone into getting a visa. A lot of times, the real man (or woman) is not revealed until years in the marraige. Marriage is by no means the finish line. It can months, even years for a scam to rear its head.

But, I think the more immediate problem is the jealousy. Would you honestly tolerate this behaviour from an American man? I wonder...

I am a beautiful, thin young woman. I am in love with him.

I'm glad, Anna, because I think you'll make some guy feel very lucky one day. I just hope for your sake it's not this man.

Listen, I understand why you are attracted to him. I'm sure he's handsome, charming, nice and treats you well (except for the jeaously). So, it's only natural that you would like such a man, but international, interethnic relationships require additional layers and consideration.

I really believe this man is just going to act like a raving jealous lunatic. It's all downhill from here on out.

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