A Turkish Man's Perspective

Submitted by Irrelevant (United States), Mar 29, 2009 at 13:44

Lily,

This is in response to your situation as well as to that Fyldefolly character.

I am a Turkish man in his late 20's. I was born and raised in Turkey and I am currently living in Izmir, a beautiful coastal Eagean city. I've lived in Germany and in the States and have had the chance to meet people from all over the world. So I am not some authority on cultural values or morals, neither is anyone else that has something to spew on this site, but I know my people and I can tell you this: Us Turks hold women in high esteem. We come from matriarchal origins which commands the utmost respect for women in general. Women hold positions in politics, in industry in fields of science and art. We've had female prime ministers, astronauts, neuro surgeons, ceo's... I just get so frustrated whenever I hear some idiot who is not from my country formulate indelible opinions based on a few encounters they've had with some scumbag.

Now in your case: I've come across many foreigners that had managed to enroll in college in the U.S. The intentions of the majority of these transplants, myself included, was gaining "international experience". However, there were those who had alterior motives such as obtaining citizenship through marriage. I personaly wouldn't mind a second passport to increase my options with foreign employment but would not go as far as to deceive someone by taking their hand in marriage for a green card. Everyone knows there are people with this intention. Anyway, I don't know if that's what this guy is trying to do to you but he sounds like a real piece of ... . He would be shunned in Turkey for acting in that manner. Every country has their fare share of ... and rednecks. This guy is by no means representative of what Turkish men are like. If I said what he said to you to my girlfriend, she would definitely can me, that is of course after she removes one of her shoes and hurls it at my head. I think you've just run into a self centered man who does not know how to care for anyone but himself, not a "typical Turk".

When it comes to the whole muslim issue: I am a muslim. I enjoy knocking back a few beers with my coworkers and friends every day after work. I could go to my local super market and by bacon or ham if I'd like, but I'm a vegan. If my father would ask my mother - or demand as some foreigners think - to put on a head scarf I know that she would give him the "you've got to be joking" line and probably give him the shoe treatment as mentioned earlier. Especially not in my city, it gets hot in the summers. You think women are gonna wear head scarves in 90 degree weather. If anything the women are in bikinis if not topless all summer long.

Now if you were to go out in the sticks in Turkey, yes, you may run into women with headscarves. I would call it the equivalent of the wifebeater worn in trailer parks. It has been a symbol of ignorance and poor education in my country for nearly a hundred years. People always tend to throw Turkey into the same basket as other Islamic nations. In reality, these so called muslims from other countries look down upon us for not being "muslim" enough but then sneak over the border to have a few beers and remove their religious garb and even bring their gay partners with them so they can actually walk side by side holding hands without being decapitated or stoned or whatever the hell they do to them in their own countries.

All in all, It is unfortunate that you and others that have responded have had bad experiences but please don't let these self appointed ambassadors convince you that if you've met one, you've met them all.

P.S.

Formeldehyde or whatever you call yourself. Clearly you've been burned by some of these creeps. Maybe you wouldn't be so bitter if you showed a bit of discretion with who you set your heart on.

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