Trust Your Instincts Pandora

Submitted by Anonymous American (United States), Apr 19, 2009 at 22:52

Trust Your Instincts
I had a relationship for over 7 years with an Egyptian.

From the beginning I had these feelings, and these signs... in my gut I knew something was off. I was very caught up in trying to 'prove myself wrong" or "dump him as soon as I could find real wrong on his part". I regret not trusting my inititial instincts because things got complicated when I loved him more, and I things became less clear the deeper I got involved with him. I became more accepting of things I'd never otherwise.

I wasted a lot of time and effort. In the meantime falling deeply in love with him, and losing a lot of my life and energies. I guess from the beginning he planned on me for papers. He is currently begging to marry me... after all that, he is now showing his desperation. He never wanted "to live in the usa". He never asked me for money. He adored my children as much as he could from the small amount I allowed him to know them... which was hardly at all, but he sent them gifts and always listening, seeming genuinly concerned and offering advice when it came to my children. I wasnt always the best mother to them because some of my time was wrapped up in my frustrations over him.

He was very laid back and cool, I thought how modern, americanized and different than other muslims in the beginning. By the end.. and it took a while to come out,,, he was straight up as muslim as they get with his rules in the relationship. In marriage I would have to ask his permission before leaving the home, not leaving alone, not working, not leave a place until he stood up and was ready to go, not to make eye contact with men on the street or in passing cars- always looking straight ahead. ... he would set aside a certain amount of money for me but ultimately it would be his decision.

Overall I am most regretful.. of him trying to use me, and waste my time and years of my life.

I hope you will learn from my mistakes, & trust your instincts.
Only you can take care of and look out for you.

Goodluck

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".