To Pandora re falling back

Submitted by yasemin (Canada), Apr 30, 2009 at 00:59

I forgot to give some advice about getting through the breakup. If you were in love with him, it makes you vulnerable and makes it harder to be rational. If you feel your resolve to end it slipping, do what i did - make a list right now and keep re-reading it until you become more immune to any tactics he might use to win you ( ie the green card ) back again. I've made a list for you to start with and you can add anything else that you know of -

1) he wanted marriage or living together almost immediately.

2) he's way younger than you and his family will one day tell him to pull the plug and divorce you.

3) he hides you from his family by making you be quiet during calls - very insulting and suspicious.

4) he changed his story about his education and that's a huge flag - making up stories to impress you. My husband did the same thing.

5) he wanted to hide those 2 female roommates from you at first.

6) he stated he wants to dominate you. Your gut reaction was very accurate. Right now you're safe but after marriage the abuse and control will likely start.

7) he wanted to keep his secrets and goals safe by not allowing your friends to see through him and maybe learn the truth.

And after you reread the list, remember that his tears will be completely fake - i learned they can turn on tears and it's amazing how they can fool you totally. Also remember that you may have very well avoided a life of horrible abuse and loss of self.

Now - look around you and count your blessings and learn to enjoy the great things you have - it helps tons !! I remember my husband storming down to the cafe when i went for breakfast there alone to let him sleep in and he pulled my hair to yank my head down and kicked me violently in the shins as punishment. These days i revel in the sound of a bird singing. I'm alone but i'm safe and alive.

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