becreative, lower egypt etc.

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), Apr 30, 2009 at 06:43

Hi becreative

Wow, incredibly sorry that the end of your vacation resulted in the unsavoury revelations of the Egyptian man. I was rather sceptical over the man's intentions when you described him; almost identical scenarios usually fan out this way - charms the woman via phone, gets her to meet him, then reveals his true intentions. In my eyes, becreative, he is acting like a big baby. These men know they're hot, they know how "irresistible" they are to visiting men & women, & they know that all they have to do is put out some of their "Pharaonic Charm" & you'll be like clay in their hands. But the things they say behind the girls' backs would make your eyes water... lol. Whenever I'm in Egypt & I see this sordid behaviour it aggravates me no end. Because it gives both Egyptian men & western women a bad name.

You have to look at it this way - Egyptian, arab, muslim men NEVER ask their wives for huge sums of money. Traditional Egyptian girls aren't even allowed out with local men. Although you will see it in Cairo etc. or in universities, but this is usually within modern or upper middle-class Egyptian communities, which most West Bank or "Saieedy" men aren't. Egyptian men are usually the ones who have to pay the BRIDE - which, who knows, he may already have hidden somewhere in the city. In islam, the man is the provider, and when it's the other way round - you KNOW that something's not right. It would be more excusable if he asked for health-related money etc. but for a LUXURY like a car! A car is not a necessity, but a privilege. I know people in England who can barely afford their first car, never mind one that costs 2000! Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if he has done this before, as he seems accustomed to this way of communication. Men like him want the best of both worlds: a "good" native wife to please their family, & a surrogate mother in their foreign conquest, who spoils them in ways that their birth mother was too poor to.

On the upside, you had a great vacation for the most part. But if you do get further involved with him, please stand your ground. Let him know that pampering men is not an option, & that it's a shameful practice in his culture. Even throw in a token "Haram 3aleyk" if you have to lol. There are so many men & women that I've seen fall in to the traps of greedy men, because they allowed it to happen... because the thought of loneliness was too daunting for them - please don't be one of them. The more this vicious cycle continues, the more the stigma attached to dating North African men will carry on. If anyone wants to go out with an Egyptian man, I'd personally stay away from uneducated men from lower Egypt - they are so charming and romantic, but not good for a long-term relationship. Most of the uncovered women in Egypt are either Upper Egyptian or coptic; whenever I was in lower Egypt (luxor etc.) I hardly saw a single woman walking in the streets and none of them showed their hair, in comparison to cities like Alexandria & Cairo.

Good luck

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".