My Egyptian Dilemma--NEW

Submitted by Just_Me (United States), May 8, 2009 at 01:55

Hey everybody,

I've stumbled across this site and it is sooooo helpful, and I would appreciate any feedback...

My mom told me we last year were going on a cruise and we would stop in Egypt, so I started to e-mail some Egyptians and find out about the areas. I got along well with one named Mohamed. We talked for 6 months and met (myself, him, my mom) when we came to Egypt in January of this year. Everything was great, he showed me around his city and paid for everything.

I went back 2 weeks ago to spend a week there and celebrate my birthday with him. I am 23, single, never married, no children, and he is 31, single, never married, no children. We stayed with his sister the first night (in seperate rooms of course) and later met some of his cousins and 2 of his guy friends. He showed me his house, but I didnt get around to meeting his mom. He says on the next trip I can meet her and more of his uncles and cousins.

We stayed in a flat together which he paid for, and he went home for a few hours every morning (early morning) so his family wouldn't know he was spending the nights with me, which I thought was a great idea. He paid for every taxi ride, every train ride, every entrance fee, all food bought at stores, every time we ate out, my cake...everything. The only thing I paid for was credit for his phone because I had to call back home for ridiculous amounts of time. I tried to offer him money and he refused. He finally accepted the 280EP (around $60) after I told him over and over that I have no use for it and I'll lose more money if I change it back to dollars, etc.

We still talk online almost every day and always do webcam. He tells me he has land in another city that is about 2 hours away by train and he leaves his house for 1 week at a time whenever he goes there. He says he goes to see his friends and check up on everything to make sure the fruits (etc) is growing properly. We have talked about the future and I'm planning to move to Egypt to study Arabic (I have learned Spanish, French, and Italian so far) and perhaps even teach English to Egyptians (we'll see).

He didn't say "I love you" or "bahibik" until February and we never really talked about marriage or the future until recently. He seems to be genuine so far..

I am trying to recognize any red flags and keep myself protected in this relationship. I told him if we ever were to marry, since I am Christian and he is Muslim, we would have some boundaries on how to raise children. I told him if he is open, we might be able to make it work. I am open and willing to participate in some Muslim holidays and traditions if he is willing to partake in Christian holidays and traditions...and to raise the children with education on BOTH religions and when they are older they can choose what they want to be. I told him the kids would have to be born in America and be American citizens first (nobody is taking my children).

He had a problem with the joint religion thing since obviously he wants them to be Muslims. I told him that in that case we can't be together, and we should see what happens over time, and not talk as much right now. He responded by saying no, in this time we should get CLOSER to each other, and come to a "fair deal". ...but I think what I proposed is pretty fair.

Where should I go from here? Is there anything else I should know about the mind of a Muslim man?

Any comments would be greatly appreciated as you all know more about this than I do. :)

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".