It sounds like abuse and manipulation to me...

Submitted by Margaret (Poland), May 9, 2009 at 13:59

i am an american woman studying to become an MD. i met a french guy nearly 4 years ago online. he is educated....3 science master's degrees. when we began tlaking online he grew interesting quickly. stupidly, i thought i could actually be special enough for this man to be so in love with me. he was quick. he came to the US on a visitor's visa ...(....)

i went to france and it was as though it was all planned out. i met his family, went to his old university, met his friends there. he seemed so perfect. he had an ex gf that i did not approve of and i felt the relationship moving too quickly for me so i tried to break it off at that time. he leterally begged me on his kness. he was holding my legs and would not let me pass to exit the hotel. i took it for love. i had doubts sometimes but i thought i am just paranoid. he paid for everythign himself. he never asked me for money, never. he has been new caledonia for nearly 2 years. he lives with his parents now.

i feel pressured to start a fiance visa. i have a bad feeling. i have seen him 2 times in nearly 2 years and he seems fine. he says he just does not want to hurt me by talking about how difficult it is for him. how could he not NEED to see me? after profesing such deep love for me for so long? could he be wanting money from me later? could he be wanting to live and work here in the states? he was fast and needy and pushing me so hard formt he start. i saw what i refer to as "episodes". an example is we were in france and when he waking from sleep he speaks incoherently and he said "i am tired of this".

i see moments of anger in him now when we speak online. could he be frustrated? i have met his family and the seem to be not questioning anything about me. they did not ask me anythign about my life at all. it seems they would but nothing. could they all be in on it? am i paranoid? (...)

he is a programmer/scientist...he is not making that much money and to send a majority of it here seems like a lot of effort for someone not serious for marriage. his sister offered to send money too. i'm soo confused. i don't know what to do anymore. it seems he would need me more than by skype. he's waiting for me to get him a visa and of course i miss him so much. i feel like i need to do it. please help with any advice.

I really feel for you...Dear you are a victim of a psychological abuse...

whats more: the whole situation is full of red flags...

He is "programmer" yet not making much money, he has 3 degrees yet you met online- do you know any "3 degrees master" chatting with foreign women online ?

Also check if a French citizen actually needs a visa to come to the Us- because I think that he doesnt...

Please note that scammers, visa hunter almost all claim to be educated and almost all have a "sister" which is wife in fact (it is an easiest way to hide her)

Would you honestly believe that "French 3 degrees master, programmer" would be so desperate to go to the USa even to the point of begging at his knees ?

Only an absolute loser or mentally ill man would do that...An honest, decent man even if he were crazy about you would never pressure you for a visa or beg on his knees...

Please visit a councellor who can help you to break free from this mental chains and the whole manipulation and abuse...

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