Just_Me re. orfi marriages, targeting older women

Submitted by Lina (United Kingdom), May 12, 2009 at 04:55

Hi again

Well it's good that he is against the Orfi document, but just keep your guard on whenever possible. A lot of men say what the woman wants to hear - not just muslim men - lol. It is a ridiculous paper, I agree, but it is the most common method of a tourist marrying an Egyptian man. There are usually either Orfi marriages or loud, melodramatic family weddings that carry on for days & are paraded throughout the streets.

Egyptian men don't usually like their woman talking to their guy friends, as most muslim women don't speak to men other than relatives or those approved of by the man... so I'm slightly confused about him teasing you to talk to his friends.

What I meant by the mother thing was that a lot of scammers target the young girl's mother by feigning interest in the daughter. It happened to me several years ago - and yes my mother is also married - with the man trying and failing to charm me when he was really interested in what my mother might have to offer financially. It's sick but a lot of Egyptians (gigolos or not) have said that they target young women for "fun" and older women for money. Sometimes both at once. One man even said to me "I don't go out with young women like you because older women are rich". They don't care whether the older woman is in a relationship or not.

So my only advice would be to be careful - the less you give the less you lose. Listen to what he asks you and says to you. If he's educated there is less to worry about of course. And you're doing the right thing by being cautious, any relationship should be treated with caution but 10 times more so when it's long-distance or intercultural.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".