I am about to marry a christian girl

Submitted by Kamal ouchag (Qatar), May 18, 2009 at 16:01

Dear all,

I was doing a search on the internet, and I came across this blog. I am about to marry Helen and I know I am doing the right thing.

I am originally from Morocco, I moved to london at the age of 17, I am 34 years old now. I went to university and I worked part time to support myself. I had my cousin who was also studying in London.

I met Helen; who's 36 years old, while working in a restaurant in East London, this was nearly 9 years ago now. I've always kept Helen away from my family, fearing their reaction. I keep hearing from family members and muslim friends that it's best to get married to a muslim girl, it makes life so much easier, does it really though?? Her family welcomed me with open arms, I loved this girl with all my heart but deep down religion was always mentioned from time to time but we've agreed to disagree. She wasn't very religious but had a good heart and well brought up.
We carried on having a relationship all these years, we had some bad times when we decided to go different directions but we'd agree to get back.

We broke up a couple of times and she was seeing other men, then she decided it wasn't going to work. Anyway, we went through some bad patches, we then decided to get engaged to show each other commitment.

It's hard to forgive and forget, knowing that she had slept with other men, I have been faithful throughout our relationship. I had to swallow my pride to show her that I really care.

Just to mention that I don't have any immigration probs, I hold a british passport as I was resident in the UK for more than 15 years.

Helen never had a chance to meet my family, as they are all living in Morocco. It was the culture, not to have a girlfriend before marriage, even though it feels like I have been married to Helen all these years, I showed her my utter commitment, vice versa.

The question of when are we getting married was always on the table, we're not getting any younger. We managed to live together, moved in to a house. Years went by and we're still not married, it didn't feel right and Helen's bio clock was ticking she wanted a baby so badly.

I am still unsure, I think I shouldn't be paying too much attention to what my family will say. Even though I want their blessings for this marriage.

I moved to Bahrain in 2008 for work, tax heaven!! Helen wasn't happy with her job, she decided to join me and we lived in a muslim country for 5 months, she had a little taste of the islamic culture. She liked it, but one day she decided to leave. We had to make a decision, the decision either to get hitched or to go different directions.

I agreed at first and we are having plans to get married in Jan 2010.

Now I am having second thoughts, my heart is telling to go for it but my mind is still undecisive. I keep hearing different opinions from all directions. People with bad experiences in mixed marriages. It is allowed for a muslim man to marry a christian lady, but not vice versa. However, there are conditions, she has to be of good character etc.

My brain's about to explode, I want to hear from you guys.
I love this girl with all my heart, when she's around me I don't feel at ease, but we're apart I just can't let go, and she's begging me to make a final decision. She wants to start a family as soon as possible. But at the back of my mind, I am still undecisive, having fears and doubts, I pray everyday to God to show me guidance.

Thanks in advance for your time, God bless.

Peace

---

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".