To Kamal---Cheating Women and Marriage

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), May 23, 2009 at 00:38

Brother in Abraham:

Thank you for sharing your story with us!

Okay, let's see.....

The concern I have here is that this woman has cheated on you a few times? and you said you swallowed your pride.

What this tells me is that you let her get away with it.

Kamal, I realize that sounds harsh, but the reality is that because you swallowed your pride, you essentially gave her permission to do it again. Some women are just like this.

It's kind of hard to explain, but when you let someone hurt you like that and you hide the pain, they really won't think that much of it.

What this boils down is that she cheated on you, but now she wants a child and to marry you?

I really think, Kamal, the reason you are posting on here is because this feels unnatural, and I, for one, do not blame you at all.

Listen, Kamal, I can tell from what you are telling me that you are a pretty upstanding guy. You came to the UK to work hard, be productive and dedicate yourself to God.

I think that this what this woman sees in you. She wants a baby, and she doesn't trust a man who would just jump in the sack with her. I think she realizes that you would be a good father, but that is what bothers because once she has the baby, I would not be surprised if she did not want to be with you at all, Kamal. That situation is an epidmeic here in the West.

I actually went through something similar myself. Here in the USA, I dated an agnostic girl who eventually wanted a baby, but she wanted a baby because she felt only a child she bore would love her---no else would. Natuarlly, she slept with at least one other person, perhaps more. Yet, I was that "nice guy" she wanted the baby with.

I'm worried, Kamal. I don 't think her interest in marrying you is that geninue, people just don't suddenly and geninely change like that. It really is no reflection on you, it's just that she seems to use you as her security blanket. You've mentioned Helen is Christian, but she has acted very immoral and has clearly hurt you more than once. Don't just brush this off so easily, Kamal. It's okay to be upset about it.

On a side note, would it better to marry a girl just because she is Muslim? Well, I think you may find it easier in the sense that religion would not be an obstacle as much, but marrying someone JUST for that reason alone will not bear fruit either.

I understand this may not be what you wanted to hear. I rarely have good news when writing on here, but I do hope this finds you well, and may God be with you, Brother!

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