Pauline staying strong

Submitted by bewildered (United Kingdom), May 31, 2009 at 16:38

Hi pauline

have read your message to me and also your recent one! i'm glad my advice was right for you, it proves how these men work!! good on ya for finishing it when you did, your instincts are never wrong i do believe this. I am sure you will be feeling quite down at the moment, but we are on here to help and comfort each other. You will have him on your mind for a long time and yes you will miss him on the net so much, i do still. They do have a way of getting deep into your heart, why ?i really dont know but they do, thank god you never went to meet him and felt his physical presence because its even harder to forget.! How they can sit there on the net and spend all that time sweet talking women just shows how desperate they are.

But you must remember we are honest and kind in nature, there's nothing wrong in wanting love, you, like me didn't go looking for them, they persued us and we didn't have a clue how they operate, I never knew they used women, after all they are human with feelings too( well thats what I thought) I finished with mine several times and like you I used to peep to see if he was on line, he was! many times and would send offline messages with "my heart" " miss you" etc but I didn't answer at first but...... yes I got weak and thought I could handle it ... then youre back talking again and the vicious circle carries on, he does something dodgy 1 week down the line, i'm annoyed again, he is calm etc so again I finish it!!! I really think if you let them they will keep talking to you getting as much out of you as long as you let them and all their other women too, they dont care who its with, younger ,older.....so long as thier goals are met and they can get a better life be it sex money, just paid holidays or a visa, well thats my opinion from experience in egypt.

So hold your head up high Pauline, you sniffed him out before he dragged your life down and he would of believe me, like people tell me , we are better than them and deserve better, real love is not from words alone, I had a young friend once who was with a muslim for 5 years, he paid for things for her, flight accomodation etc but in the end when she truly trusted him, she took a loan out for him to fund a buisness and he scarpered, just went! she ended up bankrupt and he sailed off with a better life!! So we need to try and forget this crap and get on with life, its dammed hard but I am trying, yes I can't help but think of him daily, but in time it will get easier.

you asked about my story..... I am from England went on holiday to Egypt and he asked me out, I saw him a couple of times at the beach and out at night , I thought he was so nice as he treated me wonderful, I was flying home and he asked for my phone number and e.mail and then it all began....... lots of messages calls talikng on the net every night, he was an absolute charmer and I fell hook line and sinker. I went back to see him 3 times in a year. He was so attentive etc and we got orfi married so we could be together, then certain things started to happen, a change in his usual pattern but he always convinced me I was wrong to doubt. I was so in love and thought it was me being paranoid. He asked me to marry him in cairo but because he had been inconsistent i became cautious, also by this time I was skint, I had used most of my money going to see him so my instincts were screaming at me not to get married yet but to wait and if he really cared he would wait. I caught him out in many lies also, but he acted so naive that again I was going crazy wondering " is it me!!!" I was trying to save money to go and see him again but he was adament we should get married when I next went over, I wanted to wait longer and I could see he wasn't happy, he couldn't understand why. Then he didn't call as often, said he was busy working etc. I knew he was moving on even though he still came on line with his love for me.Then he started to say he would get another women if I wouldn't get married, then he said he had and it was because I hadn't gone over in 9 months!! then he said he didn't say that? i know what I heard!? The final straw was when I knew he had met another women as she was on his contact list, i basically told him to ****** . he tried to buz a few times when i was off line and a couple of calls but thats it. now nothing and he has never denied it. He can go to hell now, we both need to be strong Pauline, you got out without losing anything so don't be tempted to go back. your evidence is all you need, dont fall for lies and excuses as i did for the sake of wanting love from a charming exotic egyptian man.

all the best, x

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