Response to Amelia---thoughts from a guy on on-line, Muslim man relationship

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 2, 2009 at 14:59

Hi Amelia!

Thanks for sharing, and welcome!

It sounds like you've been screwed over before and I think you're now asking us "Can this get any better" or maybe after so many tries you'll find a good one?

I've done this for nearly 8 years. It really doesn't get better. It's just a cycle that happens over and over again. Real, stable relationships are few and far between.

Having previously lived in the UK before, I can understand why you feel the need to meet men from other countries. The trouble is that it can be just as bad.

Actually loving someone after two days of talking on-line---that is not possible. I once had a Russian woman tell me after two e-mails that she was starting to fall in love with me. All she had from me where a couple of sentences and an old photo.

The quicker you get an "I love you" the more suspicious I would be.

Also, it really wasn't wise of you to offer to pay for everything up front. People will take advantage of you like that and if it's about romance, you won't win over their respect. The other thing about money is that scammers and liars will pretty much never directly ask for money. Instead, they'll create some sob story and make you feel like you should or have to pay, and it seems clear to me this is what happened.

The question then becomes why did he refuse? Possibly because you aren't emotionally invested in the relationship yet. A lot of times, they will wait until they know you have feelings for them before they start pushing a more serious relationship or talking about marriage.

This idea of him going on-line at night and talking to other people---not a good sign. People who are on-line in the wee hours of the morning local time are trouble most of the time. I dated a couple of women who did this and they were having cybersex with other men. Would you, Amelia, look for a husband in a bar or pub late at night? It's the same principle.

Other women have also said that a man from Egypt who is as old as 33 and not married is a something to be wary of. The fact that you are slightly older is also a concern. While romantic encounters between older women and younger men are becoming more common, successful relationships between the two age groups are rare to say the least, both at home and abroad.

I really do think, Amelia, that this sounds like a visa scam. Already you are talking about visas and UK immigration policy and the I love you, I mean come on!

I understand why you are interested in this man and I have no doubt that you've had enough bad experiences with UK men to warrant a change, but this Egyptian man sounds very clever and sneaky. I think you need to start the process of moving on. It may not happen overnight, but I really do not see much good coming out this, Amelia.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".