Advice needed- Egyptian man

Submitted by debs (United Kingdom), Jun 2, 2009 at 19:08

Hi guys,

I haven't been on here for a while trying not to be negative about my relationship but I have a few fears and wanted some advice.

I wrote on here early in the year and met a egyptian man, I have been there a couple of times since Jan and on my last visit he asked me to marry him. I have known him a year and been 5 times to visit him and his family who are all wonderful people and very kind with me and my son. He will be coming to the UK in Sept to meet my family.

I have agreed to marry him but not until early next year due to money and visits from family and so he can finish buliding his apartment he says he cant marry me until that is finished as it would be a shame on him not to have a home to provide me and my son with.

I have no reason to suspect that he is lying to me about his life as I have been there and around all the family to see he is not married or has children, his father gives me lots of advice about there customs and religion etc... just so I have knowledge not to force it on me, actually I think alot of these people act a certain way in front of the outside world so they appear a certain way, when behind close doors around family there are just normal, i know that sounds strange to say but I think all non muslims have a view of how they think muslims live etc... I have a great relationship with his mother and granmother and think the world of them.

But since my return from my last visit we have had a few problems that are troubling me maybe they are signs and I am trying to convince myself they are not, so need a reality check if my fears are correct and I know I will certainly get that on here.

Well first he seems to sometimes come across like I am lucky to have him, abit too sure of himself sometimes and plays silly mind games, but says he is only teasing me, but i wonder. Also we talked about the future and he doesn't want to leave Egypt to live here but I have managed to persuade him to come for a vacation to see what he thinks of the UK as he can't judge when he has never been here and to meet my family as they will not let marry anyone they have not met.

I am not comfortable about leaving the UK if and when we do marry due to schooling for my son wrong time to move him and he is coming round to my way of thinking so agreed to come and see what he thinks. But I feel now that he constantly changes his mind one minute he will come next he wont. Then he says he will live here next minute he wont, it drives me crackers!!!

The last month we have not really spoke on the net or had much contact at all, always busy doing something but when we do talk he seems distant and not himself doesn't have much to say and has become serious, and keeps talking about Islam etc... which he knows I have a open mind with but it will not be my religion. I feel like hes drifting from me and I say this too him and he say no i am just trying to work hard and save money and get things sorted here, but i think its an excuse he seems to be out with his friends all the time, where before he would always make time for me and i would come first, now i get i am out with my friends and will be home late. He would also be the one asking me to speak with him online and now its me asking and getting knocked back for one reason or another. I even notice the soft loving eyes he had have gone.

He says if there was someone else he would be honest with me, maybe i am being paraniod but when some one changes towards you to the point where you feel you don't know them anymore alarm bells start ringing. He is just different and I can't put my finger on what it is and not matter how many times I ask I get no everything is fine and I love you.

I love him very much and want to marry him and start planning for it, his mother is always telling me of places to go and look at when I next visit for our wedding party and saying she wants to pay for everything but I feel like something has changed somewhere i am very confused, has anyone had any similar experience.

I need some advice pls

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