Hi Debs !

Submitted by Margaret (Poland), Jun 4, 2009 at 10:59

I wrote on here early in the year and met a egyptian man, I have been there a couple of times since Jan and on my last visit he asked me to marry him. I have known him a year and been 5 times to visit him and his family who are all wonderful people and very kind with me and my son. He will be coming to the UK in Sept to meet my family.

This is already fishy because blood is everything in islam and adoption is forbidden. If someone raises an orphan- he/she is to be called by their biological father name.

Children after divorce stay with their father or paternal relatives- especially when his/her mother remarries...

I have agreed to marry him but not until early next year due to money and visits from family and so he can finish buliding his apartment he says he cant marry me until that is finished as it would be a shame on him not to have a home to provide me and my son with.

Does he have a permament, well-paid job ? Because you wrote he is often out with friends ? I encountered cases when one man scams a couple of women- some for money, some for sex, some for visa...He takes money from one- so to finance the other

I have no reason to suspect that he is lying to me about his life as I have been there and around all the family to see he is not married or has children, I have a great relationship with his mother and granmother and think the world of them.

How exectly can you "see" that a man is not married ? Is there a single sister or cousin nearby ?

Also we talked about the future and he doesn't want to leave Egypt to live here but I have managed to persuade him to come for a vacation to see what he thinks of the UK as he can't judge when he has never been here and to meet my family as they will not let marry anyone they have not met.

Red flag- he doesnt want to come to the USA/UK/Europe/Australia- most scammers claim that- if they admit they actually want the visa it would give you an upper hand, wouldnt it ? But now- you have to beg, persuade, ask, insist...
always busy doing something but when we do talk he seems distant andre before he would always make time for me and i would come first, now i get i am out with my friends and will be home late. He would also be the one asking me to speak with him online and now its me asking and getting knocked back for one reason or another. I even notice the soft loving eyes he had have gone.

This could be another mind-game- basically if something/someone is not accesible it makes us want it more

2 option : He takes you for granted- and it means the time came when he can show a little bit of his true colors

It could be the carrot and the stick manipulation routine...

Run for your well-being and the well- being of your son- Debs...

Woman fall in love not with Dilara, Ahmed or Mustafa

but in the product of her own imagination

someone that exists only in her dream of a blissful relationship

In the end she is the victim of her own longing

that made her see too less and too much.

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