The daugther of a Moroccan man and UK lady part 5

Submitted by Margaret (Poland), Jun 5, 2009 at 15:01

I phoned up womens aid and arranged for a refuge to take me in, packed a few things and ran as fast as I could, carrying my 1yr old son with my 5yr old running behind me asking me where we were going. I told him we were going on an adventure because that is what it felt like to me too, an adventure that had no laid out role I was required to play.

I hailed a black taxi and jumped in, giving him the directions that were given to me. After I was sure we had travelled far enough, I opened the taxi window, stripped off my Islamic clothes, the headscarf, the veil, all of it, and threw it out of the taxi window. If you could have seen the face of the driver, it was priceless. One of those moments that will stay with me for a lifetime, I was free finally and nothing anyone did could take that away from me again.

Not an apostate yet, but no longer a Muslim, lost in limbo trying my first baby steps in a world I had every right to be a part of. For 6 months I lived in the refuge, my daughter was born and I finally moved on somewhere safer. Much has happened since then, Im not as safe as I once was, but that is a tale not ready to be told until it reaches its conclusion. Lets just say that the justice system in this country has ensured that my life will always be in danger, and that no matter where I move, access rights keep me living my day-to-day life, waiting for my death.

Its been a long road to freedom, but I reached it finally. True freedom came the day I renounced my religion and admitted to myself that I could not believe in a fantasy, especially one that was the antithesis of everything my inner being stood for. I have Faithfreedom.org to thank for my freedom, and even though my love affair with that site is over I can not thank Ali Sina enough for giving me an avenue out of slavery, for showing me that I could be free.

I learned that the reason I could not be a Muslim, not a proper one anyway was because I was a human, and the two cannot be mutually exclusive no matter how much one may wish it, unless you believe in being a moderate change the religion how you see fit sort of muslim, which will always seem weak and cowardly to me. Predestination is a farce, telling me that god chose the life I went through for me, the kind of god that would do that deserves no worship from me, let alone submission. Hell is a joke, a control method used to keep over a billion people in slavery in the twenty first century.

Now my most ardent desire is to help those who like me did not and do not know that there is a way out if they are brave enough to take it. I lost my entire past for my freedom, but it was not such a great loss and I have recovered. I want this for them too.

I am free, that thing which so many of us take for granted is the one thing I cherish on a daily basis. The freedom to read a book and listen to a song without being beaten for it is the sweetest healing for me.

THE END

If you want to know more about this brave soul visit her blog here: http://www.councilofexmuslims.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=2a84479d195cded00e77ea4f36ec3c9b&topic=910.0

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