I really Don't Know Anything Anymore

Submitted by Stephanie (United States), Jun 6, 2009 at 16:32

Well I am trying to be good. I blocked my phone from receiving or being able to make calls to him. I blocked my texts and all my mails. I've been working alot and in my free time I spend time laying by the pool or playing sims 2. A way big addiction:)

Then out of the blue he sent messages on my messenger in hotmail asking me to answer my phone, that he hated how things had gotten between us. I didn't respond for a few days but I open my mail to write. I know if I had been strong I wouldn't have. I said pretty much how I felt which of course wasnt very nice and that I would never answer his calls. "He wrote once upset and telling me where I could go:) then I get mail this morning: "well i dont hate u but i am still waiting for the video with him doing the a* then we can take it from there if u wish!!" He accused me of being unfaithful with another before and even though I never was the whole time I knew him, he kept on insisting I was. He is a very nasty man as you can see. It saddens me that it took me all this long to figure it out.

For all you who think the man you met is totally good at heart...I thought he was too. I swear he is one of those that posts all the information on his sites on how you should act and be as a good Muslim. When I first met him he was always trying to teach me, listening, a total different person and I know he is like this with all others he meets even now. The real person doesn't come out until he has you loving him and he thinks he can control you. Maybe it's cultural differences. These men can marry up to four women and have all their secret short term marriages that being raised in the USA we don't really think of as real marriages but by Islam, it is their right to do so. It isn't like meeting a man and thinking you will forever be spending your life with "just him" and raising your kids together. We all know problems happen in all relationships and disagreements.

In a monogamous marriage and I say this turm meaning when no other marriages can happen while two people are together, most couples are forced to face their problems headon together and figure out how to work on them without the fear of total emotional abandonment if the man becomes upset. In Islam these men can go into a marriage thinking he can always have another woman if he doesn't mesh well with this one or in my case...that man wanted groupy things with couples even and he wanted me to do it. Ufff I keep asking myself how did I meet perhaps the one Muslim man that was into ...that kind of thing? It all just scares me.

Women in general, maybe we are just more committed. We commit our whole selves to our man and it is logical we expect the same. In Islam I have read about how men can go and have four women in four locations and it's all acceptable. How can a man be equally fair to any women in this way? He would atleast be neglecting her in his time spent with her. As a wife, how do you know in five or ten years down the line he won't want another woman to share your lives with, or better yet, have some secret marriage that you don't know anything at all about? It happens alot. Then women you feel like everything you have ever sacrificed for this man was all a lie. The man I knew would put on a great show to the one he wanted to marry but he was so into porn, to the point of wanting to do it all himself. know he wasn't the normal Muslim man maybe. I just don't know.

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