Dear Debs---some sound, solid answers----Egyptian man, marriage, his family, love---Am I being paranoid?, Similar experience

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 10, 2009 at 00:12

Welcome back Debs!!!

To start, let me just say that you are not being paranoid. A lot of women on here ask that question, but it's just that you don't have enough information about him and your female instincts are not sure about him yet. You must understand, Debs, that talking on-line and visiting him a few times just does not give you that information, and it's not the same as dating consistently in person.

Debs, I think that Isis is pretty much right here. The relationship has merely run its course. He just does not seem that into it anymore. Margaret notes that this could be a scam, and the quick marriage does bother me, but in any case I just don't see this ending well.

I also reread your initial post to Isis on here a few months ago. Then, you said you would walk away if you have to, but I understand that now you sound considerably more attracted to him. Here are the things that you need to consider:

1) It's nice that you get along with his family, but it's very possible that his family does not have a clue about how he feels. Getting along with them simply can't be the main reason you want to marry someone

2) This quick marriage. Debs, I am quite convinced that you do not trust this man, and while that may seem like a slap in the face, I really think your brain is telling you that you really do not know this man.

3) Changing his story. Anytime you are seeing someone and they change their story, Debs, it's bad news. It tells me that they are trying to hide something, and that's never good, especially if you two are talking about marriage (I really hope that you can start to see how this is shaping out). Also, it's quite inconsiderate of him to do this because it sounds quite inconvenient for your son. He does not seem to care too much about that aspect of your life by looking at that specific behavior from him

4) Him going out late to be with his friends. I don't like this at all, and you are right to be concerned. The question is, what exactly does he do? Does he cheat on you? Lead an irresponsible lifestyle and get wasted and/or high? There's really no way to tell for sure. And even if he is being on the up&up, well, he's still ignoring you.

5) The apartment. This may surprise you, but he might be doing it just to get some leverage, and maybe he his making the mistake of thinking that this is enough to win you over.

Debs, I really think it's time to start moving on. The thing is you and your son just do not seem that important to him, apartment and all. Please remember what you had said earlier about that you would walk away from this if it turned out bad, and things just are not good right now and they rarely progress from here. I realize it's not something that will happen overnight or because I say so, but please consider what is being said on here. A lot of times, Debs, it just takes an outside perspective looking in to see what is really going on.

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