FAO Straight Talk Luigi

Submitted by Katy (United Kingdom), Jun 11, 2009 at 10:42

Hi there!

My apologies for not answering you sooner...i was just clearing out my hotmail inbox of about 24pages of mostly junk mail when i noticed your reply to something i posted what feels like eons ago!

Ok so let me begin to try answer your questions.

Firstly i hope ur sitting comfortably lol cos my story is quite long!

You asked what was it that brought me to this website if i am happily married, and that is a good question.

It all began years ago now. I had been friends online with a moroccan guy for the best part of two years. Nothing serious (i had never been actively looking for a relationship when i met him through an msn penpal website and neither was he as we were both 19 at the time and i was already in a relationship). We would chat every now and again and I would give him advice and help with his english (he was in college studying the language at the time and i was training to be a teacher...so why not? lol). Eventualy this grew into something more then friendship and we started to discuss the possibility of meeting up (in france as that is halfway between uk and morocco, ...im not so stupid that i would travel alone to meet some guy frm the internet, where the people dont even speak english ) so france was an ideal neutral ground.

Anyways, with my line of work i meet people from all over the world from many different backgrounds, and it so happened that by chance i got talking with a guy from france about my holiday about 2weeks before i was due to fly out and meet my man. I was quite upset by his response when i told him i was meeting a moroccan. Basically his sister who works for some well known parisian newspaper had just returned from morocco where she had been doing an investigation report into scam relationships between western woman and morocco men!

The guy told me to just walk away there and then! Of course i was reeling after he laid down all the facts and figures to me and i was so confused about what i should do. My man didnt sound like any of these scammers, our relationship built up very gradual, first online and then via letters, gifts and phone conversations. He never once asked me for money, and even offered to send me some when i was in financial difficulties. There was never any sob stories or the usual my dad/mom/sister/cat etc is in hospital plz send me money guilt trips! So i thought i go ahead as planned and meet him and then judge for myself whether or not i should leave him.

The french guy could see i wasnt 100percent convinced about walking away so he told me to check out Daniel Pipes website and make sure i was aware of all the nasty little tricks some con artists get up to with western women.

So thats basically how i came to post on this site. I was and still am very interested to read the stories on here, and so saved the site to favourites so from time to time i can have a browse and see whats going on.

As for my relationship...its still going strong. I never rushed to get married and even spent some time volunteering in morocco so i could get a real feel for the way of life there. I visited my guys family many many times before we got married. I researched islam, spent days online and in the library just educating myself on arabic traditions, way of life, islam, woman in islam and in particular womans rights in morocco (hey! better to be safe then sorry) i even rented that film NOT WITHOUT MY DAUGHTER about an american woman and iranian man...

So i think going in slowly and prepared does make a difference.

As for my husband its 3 years we have been married now. He has mellowed out quite abit since he came to the uk lol! At first he was fussy (not in a horrible way) about what i wore and were i was going blah blah blah, and of course he had every right to be, he is from a completely different culture with a different view on things where the woman rarely is the breadwinner or goes out without her male relative/husbands permission. So i never did anything to rub this in his face. I know of some woman with egyptian husbands who deliberately drink/smoke/wear mini skirts as some kind of act of defiance at their husbands culture then they wonder why they vanish once they get their papers...would you wanna stick around a complete selfish bitch (i wouldnt so i dont blame half these men). I think, if you r gonna b like that why mary a muslim if you dont respect them?

It has been a learning curve for both of us. Time has been very important...neither party has tried to push the other to quickly and instead we have worked together to educate ourselves and bridge the gap between our cultural differences.

My husband has never so much as hinted that i should become muslim and i have never asked him to abandon it.

I think it has been more difficult for my husband. I think its the freedom of not being surrounded by so many family members checking up on him making sure he doesnt smoke, drink etc and that he goes to the mosque, now hes in the uk he has slowly been able to see the world in a new light. He allowes me to have male friends though i cannot go anywhere alone with them, which is fair...i chose to be married so i deal with the fact that i cannot continue to persue a single lifestyle. He plays football for our local team, he has trained hard to improve his english and passed training to become a security officer....and SHOCK HORROR he goes to the pub with his friends (though he rarely drinks alcohol lol) He has built up a wonderful relationship with my dad and brother. He paid off ten thousand pounds of credit card debt i racked up before i even knew him and gives me money to run the house on (we both work) and money to buy myself stuff with while letting me keep my own wages.

All in all I think he is intergrating into london society slowly but sucessfully. If he was a scammer he would be long gone, and certainly wouldnt have wasted ten thousand on paying bills nothing to do with him? lol

I guess we shouldnt automatically slam sumone cos of where there from. Some ARE genuine. But my advice to all the woman on here is IF THE SITUATION LOOKS BAD, IF IT FEELS BAD THEN IT IS BAD!

Luigi...I hope this makes sense and has answered some of your questions?

I will be back on the site soon (truth is i love reading your comments, you have a unique and powerful style that gets me gripped on these stories) lol

Kindest Regards

Katy frm London

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